Are we all going to be watching the Virtual Grand National? I think it starts in about half an hour's time.

Is it on the telly?

I've now checked. It's on ITV at 5 PM.

But... ...but isn't the Grand National always on the BBC?

Have British standards fallen so much?

How many cyber-horses will have to be destroyed?

Just think of the virtual French restaurants and glue factories.

And what the heck is going on, the presentation was appalling, did Red Rum win?

I couldn't watch it. The ITV iPlayer thing demanded too much personal information of me for me to be willing to register with it.

Apparently, Potter's Corner won.

Even though I tried to nobble it.

Red Rum has won the Race of Champions, despite being dead.

Is it actually on? I thought you were joking.

It's a real thing.

In its own virtual way.

My idea of replacing Wimbledon with games of Pong suddenly seems less far-fetched now.

Potter's Barr won. I think the race I saw was a greatest hits prelude or something. As I say the presentation was terrible. And I was cooking my dinna at the time.

My ma won the not-virtual 2024 Grand National. I'm not getting of the prize money, apparently.


50p each way at 1-7?


Or is it 7-1?

BREAKING LEARNING: I didn't realise until today that this was the "last day of the Grand National" - I thought it was the ONLY day of the Grand National!

Sort of like the Boat Race.

How long does it go on for?!

It's Ladies day on Friday, or it Thursday?

Every day is dead horsey day.