Where we can all discuss the inadvertent expressions that definitely have or might have caused offence.

An NYPD officer who resembled LeBron James and had moved over here told me at the bar, in a bar, that he'd seen me round the West End on four different occasions in the last few weeks - during one of which I gave a lengthy look so withering he wondered whether policing The Bronx might be the easier option after all. We had a lovely time from that night on. A generous and sensitive soul, either unsuited to policing or very much what it should be, depending on which angle you view things from.

As someone who needs glasses to see distance, and who wouldn't ever wear them while walking around in public or on a night out, and who doesn't get on with contacts, I was most probably checking him out. It's worried me ever since.

Does your own face have a default expression? Some of my relatives call me 'lemon sucker' due to my demeanor on public transport and in waiting rooms.

Apparently, I look angry.

When I'm not.

Is that because you finish every other sentence with

I've noticed during all the zoom meetings I've had lately that my resting expression is rather glum, with downturned mouth corners.

But that might be because the meetings are so boring.

Apparently, I look angry.

I usually am.

Just unimpressed and generally disapproving for me.

When I'm out I wear an implacable, faintly scowling expression.

It tells people that I am probably, on balance, not worth messing with.

A slightly sour expression does sculpt the lower face over time. You've probably got that to thank for your youthful good looks.

A surgeon of my acquaintance is of the belief that Americans generally need more intervention/plastic surgery because they move their lips and the relevant facial muscles more when they talk. I think there's something in that.

See also, the speed Kate Middleton ages at - a person forced into frequent periods of prolonged grinning.

Nobody, but NOBODY, has a more perfectly honed RBF than the American actor Elizabeth Gillies.

There isn't a single picture of her where she doesn't look as if she's cruelly, silently judging, smirking in condescension, inwardly admiring her own sexy coolness or just plainly fomenting evil thoughts.

This should be in the 'celebrity gossip'  subweddit.

Elizabeth Gillies is enjoying Christmas and her Manhattan, but you've definitely still done something that displeases her.



You will be insidiously gaslighted by her for your unfathomable mistake in the coming days.

The coup de gras will doubtlessly be dealt on NYE, at the strike of midnight.

When she gets off with Bruce Forsyth.

The man with the tennis racquet posted on 11th September is Adam Huber. My friends partner looks more like Adam Huber than Adam Huber does, and he’s very popular with the school run mums, nannies, and grannies at their kids school.

She always tells me how reliably great he is in bed, and I never tell her that I know that for myself, because I actually met him - twice - before I ever met and became friends with her. It does add a certain frisson to their house parties.

Elizabeth Gillies cares not an iota of a jot...

Yvette Rees as the witch in 1964's Witchcraft.