Dowsing, that magical way of finding water, ley lines and electrical cables by holding just two sticks.

But have you ever done it?

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I remember my dad once taking us dowsing in the living room.

We didn't find any water, ley lines or electric cables.

When I was a power-mad teenager dowsing was one of the ways I sought to have magical abilities to use against my enemies.

Can dowsing be used against one's enemies?

No, but I hoped that by knowing about lots of occult things that didn't work like dowsing, astrology and Tarot cards, I might (a) be able to acquire knowledge of the future that would help me outmanoeuvre my enemies, and (b) I might stumble across powerful spells that would let me destroy them by shooting lightning bolts out of my fingers.

And, did you?

I did it loads when we lived in Wales.

It always worked and I found loads of water.

It was like Chinatown, but in Wales.