For a couple of months I've been going via Harrods to decide whether to buy these fabulous candles in the shape of the various body parts in the title.

I have not committed. I can see the charm of a bellend shaped candle dripping liquid from the slit into my newly refurbished fireplace, for instance.

One model has the wicks on the nipples, to mimic milk flow. However, she's both headless and legless, which I think I find somewhat disturbing.

I was in there earlier today, and nearly succumbed again. In March my mother brought my attention to them when she was looking for new foundation.

I don't know what to do for the best. They have them in cream, red, and pink. Obviously I wouldn't want the red ones. What are the thoughts of the group?

Best thread title eva.

I redid that fireplace myself. I did have books in there, but it's now empty, and of smoothed polished concrete with a line of small Azulejo tiles. I thought an XXL erection candle (flanked by a couple of medium and smaller models) over to the far left hand side might work.