I've been poring over my nana's old housekeeping book. It's got a complete year of menus in the back so you never need to improvise anything.

For this Friday in August



You're not going to go hungry on that diet.

Now, please excuse me, or I won't have digested my tea-time fish and chips before I have to tackle tonight's turbot Florentine and grilled steak.

Today was the day I became a victim of Vladimir Putin. Marks and Spencer has stopped doing my favourite crisps, due to the challenge of securing some basic ingredient that must either come from Ukraine, or have its price affected by Ukraine.

Last week when I looked, I assumed they were just sold out. Today, when I saw the bare space, I asked. I nearly cried when he told me. I was absolutely stunned. Eventually I managed 'That's so disappointing, I don't quite know what to say or feel'.

Apparently, other shoppers have been asking too. He thought there might be a special effort to bring them back, so vehement has reaction been. Whether he was just saying that to comfort me is something I'll just have to wait to find out over time.

It had better not be Monster Munch that's disappeared. I love Monster Munch.

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:

It had better not be Monster Munch that's disappeared. I love Monster Munch.

Oh I never thought - that's kind of the same basic material. No, it's their own brand cheese tasters. Maybe Monster Munch are in danger too.

To be honest, I hope everyone else's favourite crisps are also affected, so people can understand how I feel. In fact, just ban crisps entirely. It's too awful to see a crisp section and know there's only distant second choices there.

This has actually happened to me once before, when Maples closed down and Fru Grains stopped being produced. They were the only cereal I particularly liked. I used to eat them dry, on their own, in a small handheld bowl.

It's getting increasingly hard to get Marmite crisps.

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:

It had better not be Monster Munch that's disappeared. I love Monster Munch.

Don't fret, the crips CT's going on about are from potatoes only found in one 10'x25' allotment over 400 miles within the Amazonía del Perú rainforest and carved by a gradually depleting band of nonagenarian Tongan artisans at a secret location (rumoured to be a medieval citadel in Jordan that once housed the Knights Templar) before being fried in purest ambergris and then doused with Dead Sea salt and proper Sarsons and then decorated (cos why the snuggle rumpus not) with all platinum leaf on.

RRP: £2.39 per unit.

Nightjar wrote:

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:

It had better not be Monster Munch that's disappeared. I love Monster Munch.

Don't fret, the crips CT's going on about are from potatoes only found in one 10'x25' allotment over 400 miles within the Amazonía del Perú rainforest and carved by a gradually depleting band of nonagenarian Tongan artisans at a secret location (rumoured to be a medieval citadel in Jordan that once housed the Knights Templar) before being fried in purest ambergris and then doused with Dead Sea salt and proper Sarsons and then decorated (cos why the snuggle rumpus not) with all platinum leaf on.

RRP: £2.39 per unit.

They sound nice. You should pitch them to a producer.