It's almost that magical time of year again.

Nothing to report, so far.

Every year I think it's the 28th or something,

Pumpkin alert! On doorstep across the street and down the hill 1 house.

Zoltan has decorated the front of his house something loverly.

No pumpkins spotted round here yet.

The only pumpkins I've seen have been the massive p*les of them in the shops.

Pumpkin alert! One of my youngster FB friends and his partner have posted photos of themselves carving pumpkins and placing them outside their dwelling.

Still no Hallowe'en happenings where I am.

Pumpkin alert! One abandoned in Tescos crisps and fruit juice aisle.

There are gwide liderally undredz ov jildren oud there drick or dreadin' donighd!

Pardon? Could you please speak more clearly?

American-style Hallowe'en costume alert!

Tesco self-checkouts command lady in horror prom queen outfit.

I didn't even bother pretending to be out this year. I openly watched Breaking Bad in my front room.

In Fangirlchester Hallowe'en is definitely for the under-8s nowadays.

No trick or treat activity around here, so far tonight. It looks like it's going to be my 14th consecutive year without them.

There have yet again been no knocks on the door here either and I've ignored anything H*lloween-related on the TV. I even deliberately missed Eastenders yesterday as I knew it was all fancy dress rubbish.

On the old HOTW you can see posts from the era when I used to hide in the back bedroom and get drunk. I'd eat my tea in there and everything, having screwed the letterbox shut first.

The world as we know it may be imploding, but at least Hallowe'en isn't such a gigantic pain in the a**e as it used to be.