When I checked into this week's hotel, I was told that two (presumably burly) men would be visiting my room sometime between 9 and 3 tomorrow or Tuesday, to replace the bed.

That's a bit mean really, they should have not booked the room out during the bed replacement window. I'm having my peace spoiled for up to 2 days by this ominous prospect.

If I hadn't got the room so cheaply I'd complain.

They might be hot. Slip on a nice dressing gown and put the kettle on for their arrival.

The boiling hot water can also double as a vicious face-splashing defence in the event that they're ugly and/or rude.

Good thinking.

And then, when they're going "AAARGH!" and "AY-EEEH, Britisher pig-dog!" you can sandwich at least one of them in a scalding Corby trouser press.

‘You weren’t hot when you got here, but by hook or by crook, you will be by the time you make it out’.

And then go properly Bruce Lee with the coat hangers.

cosmictanya wrote:

‘You weren’t hot when you got here, but by hook or by crook, you will be by the time you make it out’.

Channelling Connery-era Bond now is it?

Nightjar wrote:

cosmictanya wrote:

‘You weren’t hot when you got here, but by hook or by crook, you will be by the time you make it out’.

Channelling Connery-era Bond now is it?

In which case, the other bed-removal man has to have a toaster thrown into his bath whilst he's actually still having bath and all dies because of electricity.

Shocking!

And then The Countess can swish out the room in a beige silken nightgown like Maud Adams.

I wasn't allowed to stay in the room, so I put on my big coat and bag and took my laptop down to reception.

Only to find that it only had one chair, which was already occupied by a man fiddling with his phone.

So I went and worked in the car.

It was quite a valuable experience actually, because it showed me how awful actually living in the car would be.

Something very suspicious has been going on in the car park. All day yesterday a big white van was parked below my window with the rear end towards the building, and the driver opened the back doors out so that no-one could see what he was doing in the back.

No-one apart from me directly above. The van was full of shiny new generators in boxes which he was unpacking and fiddling with. Every so often another man would visit in another van and take away one of the generators. He started this at 9am and he was doing it when I came back from my outing at 5pm. When he eventually stopped he came inside the hotel and went to a room

I wonder if he had worked out that if he paid for 2 nights at the hotel, he could use the car park as a workshop all day free of charge?
Expensive to choose Fri and Sat though, the priciest nights of the week.

Or was there also a stolen goods element?

Quote :

The van was full of shiny new generators in boxes which he was unpacking and fiddling with. Every so often another man would visit in another van and take away one of the generators.

It sounds like something that would prompt Mr Steed and Mrs Peel to be sent in to investigate.

Especially if important men in the locality start mysteriously turning purple and dropping dead and then are found to be clutching small notes with all Greek symbols on in their stiff, cold fingers.

β
υμ
ω

While I was going back and forth to the car with my bags, prior to departing the hotel today, I saw the man showing another man a selection of generators via the side door of the van. The 'customer' spotted that I was watching, and gave me a look that I did not like.

I left without delay. And I'm going to amend my existing booking for later this month to a much later date.

Also I've written down details of the van in a place where it will be found if anything happens to me.

I had a visit from the police earlier. Asking for information about a series of violent robberies in the area. Could be connected to your hotel car park?

Only if purpleness.

cosmictanya wrote:

I had a visit from the police earlier. Asking for information about a series of violent robberies in the area. Could be connected to your hotel car park?

I'm guessing someone might be violently stealing generators in the CT Zone and driving them 500 miles to Clydeside to flog them out of a van in a hotel car park. But it seems like a lot of effort and unnecessary exposure.

I'm in a hotel I've not stayed in before. The 4G is very patchy. Unusually, it isn't best by the window, but about 1m inside the room, 1.5m from the ground.

Luckily I have a collapsible tripod (which I use for drying laundry usually) in one of my bags, so I swiftly deployed it as a mobile phone reception platform.

I can see right into the cafe kitchen of the Waitrose across the road

Everything looks very clean and orderly in there.