I have never understood the title of this thread.

It is about managing a car when one doesn't have an off-road parking space. The trials and tribulations relating thereto.

Including but not limiited to - getting your door mirrors knocked off by passing cars, having lorries run into your car so it has to be written off and replaced, panicking about not being able to SORN the car if it fails its MOT, and constantly battling to keep control of the piece of road outside your house so that (a) you can keep an eye on your car in the face of the previously mentioned perils, and (b) no **** parks their massive van there and blocks your view.

It's happening in 18 hours' time. The parking space is being ABANDONED.

I've already prepared a note for the nice neighbours on the other side, urging them to park in front of my house when my car's not there, to make the house look occupied. (actual reason: so the selfish neighbours downhill don't get in there first).

This is it, people, it's really happening. I hope.

I'm judiciously withholding comment.

I just don't want to tempt fate with anything faintly triumphalist or overconfident.

I abandoned the space at 1pm precisely. In a final act of irony, Mr Selfish Neighbour had parked really close to my car, so I had to go back and forth about 8 times to get out.

When I finally did get out, there was no traffic, so I gave a defiant 'Beep. Beep' as if to say '****. You.' before driving measuredly off.

Now I'm relaxing in the guest room (formerly my bedroom 1982-97) at our family seat.

My little car is enjoying its freedom after more than a year sitting glumly outside my house.

This morning we drove from my parents' house in Fansford to Fanchester, and we went to Tescos, and to my storage unit.

I can now make my comment unfettered by superstition and dread.

I thought you were milking it a bit.

Oh.

I have had a wonderful day today though, I felt free at last.

Seriously though.

Oh god, that's giving me flashbacks.