Poundland is trending on Twitter.

It's something to do with their chocolate.

And trains.

I can't say any more, as I can't be bothered to properly read the articles that explain it all. 

Poundland in Sheffield has switched to 100% self-service at the checkout. Now how am I supposed to buy things for a pound?

Can you not use the self-service tills?

Even I use those. And I even pay by card because there's no sales assistant to spy on my PIN number.

I am afraid of the technology.

I hate self service checkouts. They're unpredictable and most of the time something goes wrong and the helper has to come over, leaving one incredibly embarrassed and frustrated. I avoid them when I can.

"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

As for Poundland itself, I haven't found a decent CD in there for ages. Gone are the days when you'd get the likes of Deee Lite's debut album or Jermaine Jackson's awkward second album - now it's all Steps, S Club 7, Peter Andre and Billie CDs.

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I am afraid of the technology.

Well that does surprise me.

Don't let Other Brand Forum Leader hear you say that, he'll lose all confidence in your fridge advice.

Me, I like the robo-till technology. I pretend to be the checkout woman from the Fast Show sometimes. 'Bombay potatoes. Bombay my arse. Cooked on an industrial estate in Redditch, those are.'

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most of the time something goes wrong and the helper has to come over

I almost always have a bottle of wine in my shopping, so they have to come over anyway to approve it. They know me in Tescos now.

I have just bought two USB fans from Poundland.

They're made of actual metal. They seem remarkably sturdy for things that only cost £2 each.

I have also bought some matt black spray paint for my solar-powered water heater.

Do you know how best to lay that paint down Wendi-Pops?

It takes some skill and may requite a proper undercoat.

I'm just going to spray it onto my bottle. I have sanded it down in readiness.

I don't want more than one layer of paint on it because then it'll act like an insulator, which is the very nightmarish opposite of what I need.

Using an only slightly damp cloth wipe any excess dust or particles from the bottle and, after it has fully dried, from about 6" away, spray in smooth, rhythmic left-to-right motions.

Also, don't forget to carefully mask off any bits of the bottle you don't want covered by paint with newspaper and masking tape.

Work in an open and well-ventilated area.

I shall rub it down with an alcoholic toilet wipe. Alcoholic toilet wipes are the answer to all our problems in life.

Don't flush it down the l*v and add to the dreaded fatberg phenomenon though!

You know Poundland, the shop whose slogan used to be "where everything is a pound"? I got charged £2 for a bag of sweets earlier today.

I think that's how they make their money these days, by randomly making selected products more than one pound and the unsuspecting shopper buys them without realising.

They're making the same mistake Woolworths made. Once Woolworths stopped charging a shilling for everything, the writing was on the wall.

Poundland is currently selling 8-packs of Cheetos for a Pound.