I went up to the doctor's at 8am today to make an appointment, and I was told the doctor would phone me before 12 noon.

It's now 11.37 and no sign of him or her

If I don't get no phone call, I'm going to go back to the surgery and demand an explanation

(I won't actually try and box them of course)

The doctor phoned at 11.58! And granted all my requests.

Leaving me all psyched up for a fight I didn't get.

I'll have to go out for a brisk walk instead.

It is my professional medical recommendation that you still chuck a brick through the surgery window.

Did I mention the ENT appointment I was waiting for to find out what was wrong with my ear/nose/eye? The one where they told me they couldn't even give me a date till next April?

Well, they phoned up today and asked me to come tomorrow! And again next Wednesday.

Ooh, it's going to be such a faff today, the appointment's at 4pm in Zarnichester so I have to leave at 1.15 in case there's traffic, and park in the town in case the hospital car park is full.

And I've got to do the whole thing again next Wednesday, except that the appointment's at 10am.

I got to my appointment half an hour early, I was exhausted because it was an unexpectedly hot day for a long walk.

While I was waiting someone kept getting texts on their mobile phone. Or so I thought, till I realised the bongs actually indicated that people's names were being flashed up on a screen to call them for their consultations.

No-one told me that when I arrived, I might have missed my appointment.

But I didn't, I was seen right on time, and I was home 40 minutes early.

My only other complaint is that the car park in town was pay and display, so I had to guess how long I'd be parked. I paid for 5 hours and I only needed 2½.

I've got to go to Zarnichester again for the follow-up appointment.

I hate the A12. If I wasn't afraid of some kind of Twilight Zone style ironic outcome, I'd wish that I might never see it again.

My appointment went well, and the consultant performed a test that put my mind at rest about something that had been worrying me.