What's happening in your life?

Maybe it was partly my fault. She was drunk, and as ever, decided to talk about a parade of dead relatives - specifically their ashes.

My grandparents are on each of her bedside tables - my grandfathers urn topped with a trilby and my grandmothers wrapped with a silk scarf.

I find it all a bit morbid so invited her to leave, in so many words. She has a deep obsession with the morbid details of life. It's almost a pleasure for her.

Doesn't half try the patience.

Yep, Schopenhauer was wrong and Nietzsche right.

What's the other 10%?

I'm just going to lay it all out. He's a lovely guy and an admirable dad. He deserves some little thing in her late 20's who doesn't have children but wants to have a couple, who keeps herself well but isn't vain, who cares about society but doesn't prefer Bond Street, who will watch him play five a side, and who will go on holidays that don't stir his inner Bolshevik.

That said, Gulf Air sent three large boxes full of blankets, masks, and toiletry packs to me on request, which were passed on to a homeless charity. I won't hear a word said against Bahrain. No, not on my time.

If he's really fine with all that (no children, no marriage, no living together, no shared assets) then I'll be thrilled because he's lovely, kind, knowing but innocent, sexy in the way boys who can play guitars often are.

I detect a bro-ness from some of his friends. I didn't appreciate the Blairite jibes, the slightly anti-Semitic 'Tanya Mandelson' jokes I had to pretend to laugh at. I told them this would happen. As far back as 2015 I said this was inevitable - I directly declined to be consulted with my name attached to this catastrophe in the making. PR is my business. I'm bloody good at it...

Now, fully vindicated, one major red line is that these naive suburban warriors are not brought into my company again. I tried to divide it into quarters for them - I'm a quarter Jewish, a quarter of Jews are of Eastern European descent (giving lie to the 'how can a people who know extermination so intimately do this to others), a quarter of Israelis support Likud, and consistently a quarter of every national population consists of sheer b*st*rds - meaning none of the remaining three quarters, still a majority on any Venn diagram, can be assigned collective responsibility for the ills of the world.

Yes, we'll be having a proper discussion about all of this. I've probably undermined my key positions by telling him, at some length, that I'd allow Timothee Chalamet to chain me to a kitchen stove and impregnate me until menopause, in between bl**jobs for breakfast, but that's my prerogative. And of course he wouldn't do any of those things anyway, being so perfect.

You're the only person on this forum who's in a relationship.

I think.


Probably.

I referred to my little birdies as 'the kids' in public the other day.

Is the button not? I thought he was.

Zarniwoop is married - I know that because we discussed it in passing during an interior decor exchange.

Anyway we are all in relationships - as the final scene of Sex and the City encapsulated in the musings of Carrie Bradshaw - the most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself.

Only my third favourite character - my list goes 1) Samantha, 2) Miranda, 3) Carrie, and 4) the married drip. But wise words nevertheless.

cosmictanya wrote:Do others here feel relationships = restriction?

It would be nice to have the opportunity to find out

I second the Countess's emulsion.

I third that wish.

I just braved the rain to nip down to Argos to buy a Blu-ray player.

getting delivered to day between 2 and 6

I'm getting hip to the latest trends!

A proper conversation has been had. It was a calm one of great maturity. This is pretty much what I said...

No, I won't change my mind. I accept that for you it's hugely exciting and something you would love to do again, giving your daughter a sibling. For me it's the opposite, I'm not one of these women who loves it, and for me it's associated with less lovely memories. But even if it wasn't, I just plain hate it as a physical process. There's nothing about it I find enjoyable, from immediately after conception until about one year after the birth.

You're a great dad, and if I wanted another child I'd want yours, but I don't want one. If it's your bottom line then go and find someone else with my blessing. Take the time to really think because I don't want you to blame me for withholding your greatest desire.

Don't think I'll change my mind over time - that will only lead to disappointment and maybe worse, because in ten years I probably wouldn't be able to anyway, and you'll be 40 - and less appealing to 20 something year olds. Unless you're 100% ok now, it will be all my fault. Take as long as you need to think, talk it through with anyone you want.

So I think I've been fair. It can't be said my position remains unclear.

Apparently it's an UltraHD Blu-ray player.

My TV's not good enough for that. My eyes ain't good enough for that.

Also my TV only got one DHCMHCI, or whatever it's called, hole.

This may present problems.

There's probably an adaptor of some kind that you can find with relative ease.

Does my own contribution above seem reasonable to you and others? Would that make you clear and final while feeling loved and respected?

I thought your words there were a masterpiece of honesty. If I was in your SO's position that's just how I'd like to have the situation laid out to me.