Inspired by Butterfields news that Floella Benjamin has been honoured with a damehood, what would we all do if a letter arrived to tell us that we had been honoured by being made a dame, a knight, a random combination of pointless letters?

I would discreetly turn it down by return of post, pulling no punches as to why it was a firm no (government policies, imperialist nonsense, being in the company of some absolute horrors), but ending with my best wishes to Her Majesty.

What about the rest of you?

I am totally opposed to the honours system but wouldn't turn one down, as having an honour might give me a level of power I don't currently have, and me having power would be good for the world.

And for me.

I think I'd rather be an MBE or OBE or whatever than a Sir. Those ones seem less pretentious than a knighthood, yet still important, like you've done something decent in your life but as a more ordinary citizen.

But what would it be for? You could find yourself saving lives, housing the homeless, keeping lonely elderly people company and saving someone from domestic violence...

Indeed, you could do all of those things as one superperson, and still find yourself further down the pecking order than a man who'd kicked a ball in the back of a net.

I'm just happy that Buttertubs knows where Floella Benjamin lives now.