But probably won't, because as I said elsewhere, they immediately put me in mind of Victorian mausoleums and historically protected public lavatories.

Here's my cabinet of curiosities



Top left: Roman lead figures bought for me when I moved to Fanchester (1998), my great-grandad's medal from the Great War for Civilisation (1919), pine cone (provenance uncertain, it's been a long time since I lived near any pine trees so it must be quite old)

Top centre: inkstand from Yugoslavia (1984), shaving brush (2004)

Top right: wooden bowl with lid, that I used to keep my polyhedral dice in - either from Venice or Lake Bled (1984)

Centre left: model Roman oil lamp, bit of lava from Vesuvius (brought back from one of their holidays by my parents), bit of brick from my house

Centre: large French model road sign (c. 1978), small UK road sign (1976), GB stamp from Millennium booklet (Jan 2000) in miniature frame out of a hey clarse Christmas cracker

Centre right: Home Sweet Home housewarming present from my first flat (1997), S fragment from Simpsons mug (1996)

Bottom left: Cheerful striped mug (2005), segment of plate I bought the day I moved into my first flat (1997)

Bottom centre: Penny Black mug (2015), mini marmalade jar from my stay in hospital (2017), conker (c. 2007)

Bottom right: candlestick I got by sending off Silk Cut coupons (1989), fragment of fibre pill dish from hospital (2017), acorn, candle from a baptism (2000), plastic fish out of a cheapo Christmas cracker, Danish 20 kroner coin, metal Oscar Wilde bookmark brought back from Dublin by a former stalker/friend and which I can't use because it creases the pages (2002)

Also a rich collection full of meaning. A television series on this would definitely work.

Thousands of pencils floating down a river, in table form. I want one.

I could see where else to ask this.

Is an early 19th century yellow velvet cushion embroidered with the arms of the Duchy of Württemburg an appropriate gift for a lesbian wedding you’ve declined to go to?

I mean, one of the couple is from Stuttgart, which is why I sought such a thing. But I quite like it, so I’d happily keep it for myself and buy something from their practical Amazon wedding wishlist instead.

It’s my first lesbian wedding, albeit involving a non attendance.

I feel it's best to buy things from the wishlist and keep the cushion.

Oh good I’m glad.

Anyone seen Barbarian (2022)?

I have not.

I haven’t either.

Btw, the couple got a bowl.