I'm wearing a bandana as a headscarf. It makes me feel tremendously urban and sophisticated.

I should start my contribution to this very rich subject area with two disclaimers. Or rather one, and a name drop...

1) Even hats that suit me don't really suit me as much as going without one.
2) The undisputed queen of hats was a friend - not a close one, but a friend nonetheless. I had drinks and a light bite with another Blow not long before lockdown began, not realising the irony that before long I'd be plunged into having to think about headgear, to disguise unkempt hair rather than make any kind of statement.

I am persevering with my newish red baseball cap, but not confidently. My regular bandana is a navy kibbutz style one that my grandmother used to wear at breakfast over her rollers.

She also had so many silk scarves that we share them out, and they aren't really my style but they've been a godsend since March. Some were never worn even by her, and are preserved in their original cardboard envelopes and boxes - a full house of fine design.

I have a satellite dish, four foot wide, to wear to weddings I can't get out of attending. It's black so, with the addition of a veiled netting, it does double duty for very formal funerals.

And that is about it, save for a handful of beanie style hats for freezing conditions, and of those Russian fur headbands for the same reason - mine is chocolate brown mink and no, I won't apologize for owning it. Very cold temperatures give me bad earache.

I've tried others, they don't suit and they rarely fit. A couple of years ago a friend in Italy suggested I try a Panama hat and I said regular shop sizes wouldn't fit. Both her and the man in the shop refused to believe nothing would fit. After trying a few in escalating sizes, he finally said 'wow' and with a look of real sympathy, offered to have one specially made for me.

What is your bandana like?

The weather has been too warm to copy Jackie Onassis in her dying days, walking in Central Park wearing a lovely silk headscarf and a long overcoat. I invested in just such an overcoat, and also have the brown shoes, to pull off the look - as I say not really the weather.

A regular cashmere scarf with the sunglasses over it, and a high collared jacket is also a look I stole from her. As I say, I get very bad ear pain from very cold temperatures so it's a necessity rather than anything else.



Mine is a very old yellow cashmere scarf from the Harrods men's department - wide enough to go on the head, and long enough to go back down into the jacket for added warmth. Secured in place with black sunglasses and a black leather or suede jacket, hair up and loosely styled to be seen through the gap at the back, it works very well in the winter.

It's said she also had a larger than average head, hence my slavish devotion to her maxim about hair volume.

The dying looks...





You can't beat an open camel hair, or a long coat with the belt tied ever so casually. Fab shoes. But, off topic, this is about headgear - and hers is just right.

I can see myself in old age, pained, leaning on the arm of perhaps a nice pretty granddaughter for a final walk out, in just such a classic silk headscarf as I extract promises that certain pieces of jewellery can't and won't be sold, and impart the most valuable of life lessons - never give head to a man you don't love.

I must get my mum to show me how to tie a 70s-style headscarf.

She can teach you the knot on the chin at the same time. That's very precarious. My mother had to do that at school - it forces you to speak and look around without moving a single unnecessary muscle - much like walking with a book on your head teaches you how to walk down stairs, and circling your arms backwards sets your posture properly before you leave the house/cubicle/etc.

I think there's value in much of it still - it never fails to amaze and irritate me when young people can't sit through a performance or a lecture without using the loo, or even worse, announcing that they have to do so. I was taught you go at the start in your own time, or you don't go at all. What is it - three, four hours max? Above 5 and below 95 there isn't really any excuse.

I forgot to say here, I have worn a mantilla. On a frame.

It was lent to me for my godmother duties at a very formal christening in Madrid. I hadn't realised until then how big Francoists are in some sections of Spanish society.

https://youtu.be/Kdg-Rx9D3Yc?t=54

Since the success of the bandana I have purchased 3 much bigger scarves from M&S and deployed them in various, very pleasing ways.

If I ever have to adopt an advertising slogan it shall be 'If you want to get ahead, get a headscarf.'