A house a few doors down, I think they're an older couple, have had their actual front lawn replaced with the most obvious fake grass - it's so bright green that it's practically luminous and looks just so fake, sterile and, well, naff really. It's also surely really bad for wildlife, insects and such. Is it not basically a covering of pure plastic? I understand it must be much easier to look after and has this permanent awful clean and sparkling look, but still.

It is indeed a weird concept.

I've also seen adverts online for plastic hedges.

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:

I've also seen adverts online for plastic hedges.

A lot of people also have these plasticky topiary balls hanging on their houses - that fade after a year or two of weathering! What are they all about?!

Are they plastic then?

That's disappointing,

One of those plastic topiary balls landed in the front garden on a windy day and I picked it up to take it back to the house to which it belonged.

One of my bin lids blew over the back neighbours' fence yesterday, and he kindly dropped it back over for me.

Artificial MOSS! For all those times you need moss, artificially.

What the....

How to install artificial ivy rolls.



There's nothing I'd rather do than sit in my garden and enjoy my plastic ivy attached to my barbed wire fence.

In the cemetery , quite a few of the graves have had their stones/chippings replaced by green plastic grass, or some have green sort of felt. It makes me think I'm looking at really low snooker tables.

Artificial grass in a cemetery does seem rather infra dig.

They'll be putting ceramic flying ducks on the gravestones next.

Last night I saw a house for sale locally on RightMove that had its entire medium-sized back garden covered in fake grass, complete with delightful stone path down the middle to make it look that bit more realistic. Why do people do this?! There are surely much more pleasant ways of making a garden hassle free without resorting to covering it in awful plastic carpeting which is already an unnatural shade of green and will weather and fade horribly. I'd prefer people to slab over their gardens if they must.

Coincidentally, a couple of days ago I'd seen a negative report in the Guardian about the growing popularity of fake grass, as people with small gardens and high fences battle with their lawns getting no sun and the resulting winter mud baths.

It's madness.

When I had a house, one of the houses up the road had a fake grass front garden, but they foregrounded the artificiality by having seasonal displays of objects in it - fake daffodils, a prop sheaf of corn, etc.