Everyone's just stood around, looking at each other.

What kind of idea of drama is this meant to be?

Now he's decapitated Conan's mum.

That's more like it.

Duff narration.

Youthful Conan's been taken away by the bad guys.

He has to help push a big wheel around.

Children being the best people for pushing large heavy things around.

There seems to be no indication what the large heavy wheel actually does.

After 30 seconds of pushing it, he's turned into Arnold Schwarzenegger.

That's one hell of a body-building tool.

Look what 10 seconds on it did for this budgie.

Adverts.

20 minutes in and Conan's not delivered a single line of dialogue yet.

Now he's got to fight some bloke in a mask.

He's not making much of a job of it.

Now he's killed him.

Now he's killing lots of people.

Now he's been taken to Fighting School.

Still hasn't uttered a line of dialogue.

Now they're giving him a topless woman.

He's covered up her knockers, like a gentleman.

Now he's humping her.

There didn't seem much point in him covering up her knockers.