A John Grant song called "Love is Magic" been going around my head so I looked at the lyrics.

Anyway, there's a line that I thought went...

"And this Thing crawled into the sea
Is it always what you thought It would be?"

However, it would appear that the lyric is actually...

"And this thing called Intimacy
Is it always what you thought It would be?"


I believe that my version is vastly superior because it makes me think of the Loch Ness Monster.

Jethro Tull wrote:

Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run, hey, Aqualung
Feeling like a dead duck
Spitting out pieces of his broken luck, oh, Aqualung

Oh, I though he said 'spitting out pieces of broken lung.'

Greg Lake wrote:

Cat's foot iron claw
Neurosurgeons scream for more
At paranoia's poison door
Twenty first century schizoid man

Oh, I though it was his 'my paranoia's as high as a door.'

I also thought it was Little Children Scream for more, but that's not as good as Neurosurgeons Scream for more.

On Alcoholic by Starsailor, I always thought he was singing, "I was looking for another you and I found another war," but it turns out he's singing, "I was looking for another you and I found another one." My lyrics are better.

On Maggie May, real lyrics:

All you did was wreck my bed, and in the morning, kick me in the head
Oh, Maggie, I couldn't have tried any more

I thought his Rodness sang

All you did was rape my head.

Billy Ocean's classic Go And Get Stuffed.

What with my (probably excessive) listening to Neko Case of recent - and particularly the tune "Margaret vs Pauline" - I was struck by one lyric I'd obviously misheard...

I thought it was:

"Gregory's mistaken for the thrashing in the lake"

It is in reality:

"Her bravery's mistaken for the thrashing in the lake"

I don't know whether that's better or not though.

Quite possibly not.

Bobby Goldsboro - Summer (The First Time).

"And I tried not to stare when I looked at her tulips."

When a man loves a woman - "he'd give up all his Converse and sleep out in the rain". No wonder my love life has been rocky - nobody ever gave up their Converse for me.

Gabrielle, Dreams - "brain scans are cheap, you know you've got to have one, you know you've got to be strong". A song about a tragic illness and getting to the doctor on time, so I thought.

Fangirl Three wrote:

Billy Ocean's classic Go And Get Stuffed.

That had me laughing to myself, in an otherwise empty room, for an inordinate length of time.

We reach

I have just seen the lyrics for Cockney Rebel's Judy Teen.

They are genuinely terrible.

I always thought that, at the end of the chorus he was singing, "Schneiderzhappie!" and that it was some sort of German word that I don't understand.

It turns out he's singing, "She made us happy."

That is rubbish.

Made all the more rubbish by the way he sings it.

"Bees came upon me and it leaves me weak." The Hollies.

"Michelle, ma belle. Sont les morts qui vont tres bien ensemble."

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:

On Alcoholic by Starsailor, I always thought he was singing, "I was looking for another you and I found another war," but it turns out he's singing, "I was looking for another you and I found another one." My lyrics are better.

I prefer the other ones.

For a long time, I genuinely thought he was singing, "The dancing shadows on the wall, the toaster in the hall, are all I've seen since you've been gone." at 2:02.  

Nothing says, "Heartbreaking loss," more than a toaster in the hall.

Perhaps Jeff's missus has ordered him to put said toaster - that she forgot to take when they were dividing up what things were who's when they split up - in the hall, in a cardboard box, ready for her to take when she turns up later?

And perhaps she also forgot to take one of those motorised revolving lamps that cast nice shadows on the wall, so that's there as well?

Ready to Parley, as in talk and sorting things out not fighting in a Dancehall Styleé.