What is all this hate for nectarines?

What have they ever done to any of you?

Can't get them in heavy syrup in a tin, is that it, eh, eh!?

Nectarines are very nice. I meant no disrespect. I merely meant that they were the easy alternative for those who can't deal with peaches au naturel.

We needn't argue. Otherwise we could be stuck here all summer. Well what a bummer.l

I like nectarines.

Peaches, though, are malevolence incarnate.

No wonder they call them Satan's Pears.

What's not in mouth?

I'll tell you what's not in my mouth!

PASTA - THAT'S WHAT'S NOT IN MY MOUTH!!!!

And why?


People need to be punched in the ear with a brick.

Has panic buying hit home? Or are you calling me a wh*re with a fridge of plain old pesto again?

Yes.

Pesto with a fur coat all of its own.

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:

I like nectarines.

Peaches, though, are malevolence incarnate.

No wonder they call them Satan's Pears.

I see I missed the opportunity to allow us all to bathe in peach related beauty...



It's definitely a peach I'd eat. But I like the taste anyway.

Nightjar wrote:

Yes.

Pesto with a fur coat all of its own.

Many years ago I had a flatmate who used to go out for walks/errands in a fur coat and no knickers, and flash at hot guys in the street/supermarket. It was the Burberry check stilettos I objected to. When I came home to find her singing a lullaby and breastfeeding her boyfriend in the living room, we fell out. I am a very tolerant person but some things can't be unseen.

We'd already forgiven the collection of used sanitary towels left in a Pizza Express box in the kitchen, the endless screaming s*x sessions, and I myself was attacked in a nightclub by her boyfriends ex for defending her honour (said attacker find out within seconds she'd picked on the wrong girl when, as my opening move, I had her by the collar over a table).

As we learned so eloquently, even a Samantha can be a Charlotte from time to time. Adult men in romper suits latching on contentedly is definitely a bridge too far for me to accept under my own roof. Some of her associates had formed entirely the wrong impression of who the rest of us were and what was acceptable in our flat. I don't enjoy being stigmatized.

That might partly be why I have such strong feelings of loathing regarding Kirstie Allsop. This girl was also a fat, jolly, second tier Sloane.

As I get older I forget how much I enjoyed the occasional scrap, and how skilled I was. I think either that one on her behalf or a set-to on the District line was my last showing.

I really really want to make a special 'American' breakfast that I occasionally make for myself (and others if they happen to be about/in my bed).

I'm craving it in fact.

However, it is such a faff and frankly psychologically and physically exhausting to prepare and cook that I'm not sure I can be bothered.

I suddenly have a craving for doughnuts.

And the doughnut shop is closed.

I don't even know where I'd get doughnuts locally.

In this here London there's a 24-hour doughnut emporium within 2 minutes walking distance of every home*.

Also, they deliver**.



*Unfortunately each doughnut costs £11.

**Unfortunately, it's a minimum order of 400 doughnuts.

Nightjar wrote:

**Unfortunately, it's a maximum order of 400 doughnuts.

Fixed it for you.

All I have in this world are my nuts and my word.

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:

I don't even know where I'd get doughnuts locally.

If you leave your house and walk round the nearby roads, you'll probably find a Co-op, where there'll most likely be some doughnuts in the bread/cake section.

The local Co-op's at the top of a big hill.

You've lived in Sheffieldfield all your life, you've had ample time to get used to everything being at the top of a big hill.