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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by The Call of the Wendigo Wed Dec 04, 2019 5:17 pm
WhatDoesThisButtonDo? wrote:
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by Guest Tue Sep 29, 2020 2:17 pm
https://thequietus.com/articles/28899-idles-ultra-mono-review
Talking about the beats added to the new Idles album
"These have been supplied by a man named Kenny Beats, presumably because he was the first bloke listed under 'B for beats' in the Yellow Pages."
Talking about the beats added to the new Idles album
"These have been supplied by a man named Kenny Beats, presumably because he was the first bloke listed under 'B for beats' in the Yellow Pages."
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by Guest Tue Sep 29, 2020 2:24 pm
Ned's Atomic Dustbin
Brainbloodvolume
(Furtive 478330 11 tks/41 mins/FP)
CHERRY RED doc wearing stupid Bronx hat and shorts combo sidewinding Carter shirt over PWEI long-sleeve stripey-tights pony-owning horse raced drippy please hit me Mazola-haired spotty-sack-of-subservience-girlfriend-having invade your local and share your shallowest thoughts play the juke for two hours worth of backside torpedo sit there mouthing the lyrics looking at the door trying to blend call brown ale "Newky Brown" drink it out of plastic glasses pissed on two put 'Glory Box' on to show how hip you are sit near to me and with every word of your cretinous jabber make me wanna rip your face off vegetarians apart from fish keep the spliff for too long hold it in too short blow it straight out and dribble a duck's arse all over the roach then giggle for half an hour and fall asleep as it burns off in your hand watching Blue Velvet/Wild At Heart/Blues Brothers/Angel Heart/lost Boys/WITHNAIL AND F***ING I/Rocky Horror Picture Show/Betty Blue/whatever f***ing stude movie that irritates the f*** out of all decent sane people skipping onto the dancefloor for the Poppies lean over into their mates faces and shout the words so everybody knows you know them hug everybody you meet like you haven't seen them for five years even when they've just come back from a Satan's lemonade NME reading MM when you like the cover do the sailor's hornpipe to The Levellers have a zany "Quotes Board" in your communal kitchen sneer at townies ruin every pub you set foot in for nine months a year phone daddy for an extra grand and fax through your skidmarked shreddies Red Witch drinking talk in cinemas as loud as possible laugh at all the most annoying moments think the people in Dogs In Space are cool and not the wretched sticks of backside torpedo they are Dennis Leary Fantasy Football Red Dwarf Newman Baddiel laughing secret Jasper Carrott admiring clog up the aisles in supermarkets individually levelling coffee granules Daddy's working-class he owns British Steel Louise Wener travelling in the gardens of desperation over Blockbusters theme tune dancing Lamacq/Whiley listening tie chequered shirt round your waist goatee-beard attempting waiting for your balls to drop say pants when annoyed Terry Pratchett reading Vic'n'Bob quoting stupid dense thick crass sottish doltish dumb imbecilic dim idiotic asinine fatuous inane gormless banal snide mindless brainless daft backsliding pig c*** child of emancipation scab insect bitch shiteating monkeyspunk gorging faced arseheaded sweaty ring-pierced f***ing SCUM. Yeah, I'm talking to YOU, MOTHERF***ER!!!
Oh, you'll love it
- Neil Kulkarni, Melody Maker 1995
Brainbloodvolume
(Furtive 478330 11 tks/41 mins/FP)
CHERRY RED doc wearing stupid Bronx hat and shorts combo sidewinding Carter shirt over PWEI long-sleeve stripey-tights pony-owning horse raced drippy please hit me Mazola-haired spotty-sack-of-subservience-girlfriend-having invade your local and share your shallowest thoughts play the juke for two hours worth of backside torpedo sit there mouthing the lyrics looking at the door trying to blend call brown ale "Newky Brown" drink it out of plastic glasses pissed on two put 'Glory Box' on to show how hip you are sit near to me and with every word of your cretinous jabber make me wanna rip your face off vegetarians apart from fish keep the spliff for too long hold it in too short blow it straight out and dribble a duck's arse all over the roach then giggle for half an hour and fall asleep as it burns off in your hand watching Blue Velvet/Wild At Heart/Blues Brothers/Angel Heart/lost Boys/WITHNAIL AND F***ING I/Rocky Horror Picture Show/Betty Blue/whatever f***ing stude movie that irritates the f*** out of all decent sane people skipping onto the dancefloor for the Poppies lean over into their mates faces and shout the words so everybody knows you know them hug everybody you meet like you haven't seen them for five years even when they've just come back from a Satan's lemonade NME reading MM when you like the cover do the sailor's hornpipe to The Levellers have a zany "Quotes Board" in your communal kitchen sneer at townies ruin every pub you set foot in for nine months a year phone daddy for an extra grand and fax through your skidmarked shreddies Red Witch drinking talk in cinemas as loud as possible laugh at all the most annoying moments think the people in Dogs In Space are cool and not the wretched sticks of backside torpedo they are Dennis Leary Fantasy Football Red Dwarf Newman Baddiel laughing secret Jasper Carrott admiring clog up the aisles in supermarkets individually levelling coffee granules Daddy's working-class he owns British Steel Louise Wener travelling in the gardens of desperation over Blockbusters theme tune dancing Lamacq/Whiley listening tie chequered shirt round your waist goatee-beard attempting waiting for your balls to drop say pants when annoyed Terry Pratchett reading Vic'n'Bob quoting stupid dense thick crass sottish doltish dumb imbecilic dim idiotic asinine fatuous inane gormless banal snide mindless brainless daft backsliding pig c*** child of emancipation scab insect bitch shiteating monkeyspunk gorging faced arseheaded sweaty ring-pierced f***ing SCUM. Yeah, I'm talking to YOU, MOTHERF***ER!!!
Oh, you'll love it
- Neil Kulkarni, Melody Maker 1995
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by Butterfield Tue Mar 01, 2022 8:28 pm
Victoria Beckham (2001)
"Victoria Beckham marks a new low in shameless pop slaggery."
2/5
- Mark Beaumont, NME 2001
https://www.nme.com/reviews/reviews-nme-5669-340217
"Victoria Beckham marks a new low in shameless pop slaggery."
2/5
- Mark Beaumont, NME 2001
https://www.nme.com/reviews/reviews-nme-5669-340217
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by Nightjar Tue Mar 01, 2022 8:32 pm
Yeah, still got 2/5.
Also:
And where's the NME now, eh?
Also:
If she's to avoid becoming the new Edna Everage, Posh Spice needs to take it up a class...
And where's the NME now, eh?
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by Nightjar Tue Mar 01, 2022 8:35 pm
And "take it up a class"?
Dreadful syntax.
And, from a technical POV, genuinely embarrassing hack writing throughout the 'review' too.
Dreadful syntax.
And, from a technical POV, genuinely embarrassing hack writing throughout the 'review' too.
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by Nightjar Tue Mar 01, 2022 8:40 pm
The reviewer...
Look up "snidey, sneering, smug, coked up 'I'm a serious journalist' creep" in the OED and, etc...
I've probably met him.
Look up "snidey, sneering, smug, coked up 'I'm a serious journalist' creep" in the OED and, etc...
I've probably met him.
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by Nightjar Tue Mar 01, 2022 8:45 pm
I don't like Victoria Spice at all, but that's triggered me.
I want to find him and kill him now.
I want to find him and kill him now.
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by SiberianPrincess’sMidriff Tue Mar 01, 2022 9:13 pm
All edge, no sides or surface, just EDGE.
I did have a number of thoughts about music reviews, they seem to have died a death since streaming/YouTube etc, for some reason.
But I can't be bothered, other than to say the 90s NME/MM reviews all seem very quaint, not only something from another age, but just pointless now, useless as historical reviews and un-entertaining as works in their own right.
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by SiberianPrincess’sMidriff Wed Mar 02, 2022 10:00 am
Actually, I think that was all I had to say.
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by SiberianPrincess’sMidriff Fri Mar 03, 2023 6:10 pm
Nightjar wrote:And "take it up a class"?
Dreadful syntax.
And, from a technical POV, genuinely embarrassing hack writing throughout the 'review' too.
It's a pun on the Posh takes up the **** rumours
innit??https://web.archive.org/web/20090304192125/http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/album/322060/review/5940693
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by SiberianPrincess’sMidriff Fri May 12, 2023 8:21 pm
fsmirnof wrote:
Pierce brosnan vibe
https://rateyourmusic.com/release/album/david-bowie/hours/reviews/3/
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by SiberianPrincess’sMidriff Thu Aug 03, 2023 10:40 pm
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by SiberianPrincess’sMidriff Sun Aug 06, 2023 8:35 pm
https://web.archive.org/web/20090304192125/http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/album/322060/review/5940693
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Re: Music Reviews of Note
by SiberianPrincess’sMidriff Mon Oct 02, 2023 12:40 pm
Bit harsh.
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Similar topics» Cassette covers of note
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