Guest‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ wrote:

What kind of pet did Aladdin have?

Spoiler:

A guinea pig?

I've just realised I didn't get to pull a cracker this year

Nightjar wrote:

Guest‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ wrote:

What kind of pet did Aladdin have?

Spoiler:

A guinea pig?

My guess was ADOGin.

As in, he's a lad so he's aLADin, the dog would err. never mind.

Why are Christmas Trees so bad at sewing?

Spoiler:

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?

Spoiler:

Those two were from the Advent calendar, which would explain why they're better than the one from the cracker from last year.

Talking about which, I had a couple left…

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?

Spoiler:

What did the grape do when it got trodden on?

Spoiler:

I actually got one yesterday that was genuinely funny.

I can't remember what it was though.

How do snails keep their shells shiny?

Spoiler:

Slime?

I go it wrong. I thought the answer was going to be, "By drinking a slug of..." something or other.

What do you get if you put a sheep in a sauna?

Spoiler:

The jokes in the crackers my Mum bought for yesterday were absolutely pathetic.

Also, the crackers didn't have toys or things in them, just tiny cards with brain-atrophyingly, dunderheaded trivia puzzles on.

Totally ruined Christmas.

I got a complicated metal puzzle in my cracker, which I couldn't solve.

What do you call just married spiders?

Spoiler:

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

Spoiler:

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Spoiler:

Where are average things manufactured?

Spoiler:

I think repeating the 'factr' bit in the setup weakens it. Maybe a certain other forum admin wrote this one.