When I was about 10, I went for a brief ride around my Black Country locality in the back of a white Porsche 911. I remember seeing someone from school walking by and I really wanted him to notice me in it but he didn't - and the back windows didn't wind down.

I must confess to regularly putting my car in "sport" mode so it makes more noise.

Sorry.

I got cruis*d in the men's toilets at Disney World.

I was disgusted.

But then couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards.

That's not so shocking to hear. ISTR you got cruised in a charity shop once.

Fangirl Three wrote:

ISTR you got cruised in a charity shop once.

Did I? I'd forgotten about that one. I do remember kneeling on the floor of a charity shop whilst flicking through some CDs or LPs and an older gentleman passed w*nd right next to my face - and yes, it wasn't just the noise that was of an offending nature.

I remember that post very well, because it was the first time you deployed the awesome (but to me then unknown) smiley from the Forumotion gallery of standard smileys.

Ultimately, it's one of the gr8est smileys ever created.

I salute you for it.

I have rewarded you for this deed in retrospect.

Funny that I remember a f**t but not a cruis*. But it all happens in charity shops. And toilets.

Oh dear, did you say anything? Did he?

I’m sorry you missed a ride at Disneyland btw.

I'm afraid that the side of me usually comes into play in these situations so I probably gave him a filthy "we're at Disney World, dear" look as I walked out of the bogs.

I still can't remember the charity shop "experience", or evident lack thereof.

I understand. There used to be an Ann Summers at Luton Airport, and I was in there having a laugh at the vibrator wall when a dirty old git sidled up to me and said ‘I’d get the biggest one if I were you’. He got the look before I walked out.

Butterfield wrote:

Fangirl Three wrote:

ISTR you got cruised in a charity shop once.

Did I? I'd forgotten about that one. I do remember kneeling on the floor of a charity shop whilst flicking through some CDs or LPs and an older gentleman passed w*nd right next to my face - and yes, it wasn't just the noise that was of an offending nature.

Oh, I see. At the time you weren't so explicit. Leaving me to assume something other than br*king w*nd occurred.

You thought Butterfield was on his knees in a charity shop, face level with a strangers nether regions for more innocent purposes or less innocent purposes?

I know he likes a bargain, but surely he has limits for what he’ll do for a cheap CD.

I fancy Anthony Scaramucci. But not as much as Rishi Sunak.

Saddam Hussein however, will always remain my top choice, joint with Bin Laden.

Over the last few years, a reliably good fantasy has involved going to a meeting with Rishi Sunak, getting a text from him that night, and inviting him round. After he sneaks up the stairs unseen, he’s stripped naked and ordered around like sub, before our bond is biblically sealed. Through lotus position and tantric sex, I begin to turn him to start introducing my preferred policies and modifications at the dispatch box, because he’s in thrall, falling in love, and he can think of nothing else but our marathon sessions in the sack together, and my aromatherapy massages of his already smooth firm beautiful skin and tight bod to relax him from the toils of government.