It's time for me to watch Nostferatu.

Starring Shrek.

It had better be scary.

Intro taking forever.

The theme tune's a bit strident.

I hope the music's not going to drown out the dialogue.

Stil taking forever to get past the opening titles.

I might skip them, as they're in German.

How people are supposed to understand them if they're in German is anyone's guess.

Opening titles still going on.

Finally, the film's started.

It's in sepia tone.

Woman with nice hair.

I think I might turn the music off. It's annoying me.

Man laughing. I don't know why.

Hugging.

I don't know who these people are.

Now one of them's in the street, talking to another man.

It's all a bit am dram at the moment.

Count Orlok's looking to get on the local property ladder.