I've just cut the very tip of my right hand index finger on the edge of a tin can lid.

I was reaching into the bottom of the sink cos I thought there might be some detritus blocking the plughole and...

Well.

It's a clean, keen cut and not huge, but it quite literally will not stop bleeding.

Looks like a grenade's exploded in my hand.

I'm having to type all of this using my middle finger.

Run along to a pharmacy and get it cleaned and stitched. I cut my finger on the stem of a wine glass a few years ago, wrecking more than one towel and part of the carpet before accepting after four hours or so that it wasn't going to stop bleeding, and going to casualty - by then the middle of the night.

There could've been anything in the plug. You might get an infection. This time tomorrow your hand might've been amputated along with the lower part of the forearm. It'll be in the hospital incinerator, and you'll be thinking 'I should've listened to Tanya when she told me to get it seen to'.

Shush, you.

In my experience elevation is the solution to these unstoppably-bleeding cuts. Simply hold the injured part higher than your heart. This means that fresh blood will arrive at the cut less quickly, allowing clotting to occur.

I agree. That's what I always do.

Did you make it through the night? Blink once for yes and twice for no.

Me arm's off.

I expected as much. Well, look on the bright side, you've still got one left.

I've cut my toe.

There's a seemingly endless flow of blood from a bottomless fount.

I don't seem to able to stop the bleeding bleeding.

Hold your foot above your heart to slow down the blood flow.

Have you been drinking? Alcohol makes blood flow more freely.

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:

Hold your foot above your heart to slow down the blood flow.

I second this, it really does work.

We've not heard from him since. I hope it's not too serious a wound.

You don't want to spend Christmas Eve in Accident and Emergency.