What job should we all be doing instead?

A place to discuss careers/changes/suitable avenues/etc.

No fantasies of Hollywood films or era defining albums please. I am therefore specifically ruling out being a Bond girl, appearing on the cover of English Vogue and Vogue Italia, being named on the Vanity Fair best dressed list before a chart busting diversion into K-pop, a lead part in a Bollywood extravaganza, teaming up with a rapper to do something socially responsible globally, producing and presenting a return to old school interviews where politicians and other public figures are placed under an unrelenting microscope - one a month say. Followed by a critically acclaimed and widely lauded turn on the London stage in one of the great dramatic roles, before moving on to the UN and the odd film by classic and/or continental directors, while keeping up my one a month multi award winning interviews.

I think I'd make a decent criminal justice social worker. Or one with a focus on the citizenship and happiness of the elderly. Or a much needed media liaison role between that sort of department and the media at large. Perhaps with a growing blurred emphasis between strictly that, and published and broadcast journalism with the same focus.

I've surprised myself how much I've enjoyed overseeing my sons education in a more direct capacity than normal but I've no desire to train to teach in an actual school. I did it abroad anyway and from the first day when I went to cry in a lemon grove, I knew it wasn't for me.

A couple of the teens I met in a school talk before Christmas have been in touch to ask if there's anything they can do over the summer. There isn't really, and I can't point them in the direction of anyone else who could use extra help either.

I don't wish to be anything other than what I am/do.

I'd just like to be more confident, motivated, prolific, recognised and make more money at it.

The latter two are obviously generated by the former two of course.

Oh well that's the end of that conversation then.

At least I'll never need a satisfactory answer as to how people who live in Malibu manage to secure their ornaments firmly in place in case of earthquakes.

I'm already being paid lots of money for doing one of my hobbies, which I'm very happy with.

But I do sometimes wish I did one of those jobs where there's a very strong in-group feeling, like nursing or being a copper, because it would flatter my ego.

Would you really arrest your own mother? All the policemen I've slept with have been a bit weird to be honest. Not generally bad in bed though, confident thrusters with good rhythm - the last one was a couple of summers ago, and I knew he was a policeman way before he told me during our cigarette break.

I'd be down to second cousins twice removed before I'd actively arrest any of my relatives, and I've got a few quite nasty ones closer in degree than that. I just think that's a low act, the willingness alone a hallmark of a suspicious person.

Imagine the stuff you'd see as a nurse. We do seem to be going through another national cycle of them all being 'angels' which will probably last now until the next medical serial killer is unmasked - or until their union asks for a pay rise to something approaching not bad.

I wouldn't be surprised to find Angels itself is back at #1 as we speak - an anthem for BJ at this years conference, to join the ranks of Dancing Queen and Things Can Only Get Better.

Much of the stuff nurses see has been alarmingly close to what I've see in the last 6 months or so.

Pretty much unmentionable things (on this forum at least).

Lots of sputum.

As someone who was just a concerned visitor I worked about as closely as I realistically could with the nurses.

The rest of my family kept on at me jokingly whether I'd ever given a career in nursing a thought, but no, of course not.

I did it because I loved and love my Grandpa and I wanted to make him as comfortable as conceivably possible.

In truth, what nurses see and have to deal with on a daily basis doesn't bear think about.

I couldn't do it.

Military Wives style. My mother had a stint as one. As part of last chance saloon for my parents marriage we had to move to Devon for several months, where we lived in a house which was made of corrugated iron, as indeed was the coal bunker round the back which had to be cleared of ice and snow to get the goods.

Far from camaraderie, the b*tches voted my mother 'worst military wife' and presented her with a sash. They thought it was funny apparently. We were back in a world of civilization and divorce courts in no time at all. I myself worked for the NAAFI as a barmaid one summer - no camaraderie there either, but I can vouch for squaddies being on the top rung while the police are just reaching the upper third or thereabouts.

No, nor could I. Without doubt, I just couldn't. The pay for them and especially for carers needs some serious thought. It cannot be right that such a tender and intimate vocation is sub minimum wage and, unsurprisingly, has such a high turnover.

I took my grandmother to the loo once, with her clinging round my neck - and never did so again. It wasn't appropriate, there was no dignity. That's before the extra damage you might easily do by moving and handling frail old bones in the wrong way.

You know when you're a kid and you go over the handlebars of your bike, and great - lesson learned for life, don't slam the brakes, ease them on gently.

I nearly learned it again taking my grandmother back to the hospital she was in while waiting for a nursing home room in our chosen place to become available, after we'd been for afternoon tea and a little shopping trip. I took a wheelchair in the car boot so she wouldn't need to risk falling over.

There was a long linoleum corridor back to her ward, and it had a slight downward slope so I said to her 'shall we go really fast?'. Yes please, off we went laughing until the brake automatically kicked in with great force and no warning.

All kinds of potentially fatal danger abounds, even with social rather than purely medical (I'm a strong believer in both being part of the same thing). I have no idea how the majority of fantastic nurses and carers can do it without just running home in tears to hide from the world.

I should be a psychiatrist. I've known that since I was 18.

My instincts have said that.

Those tests that tell you what job you should be doing have said that.

I haven't been banging pots and pans, and I have no intention of doing so now or in the future. I'd rather they were simply paid sufficiently well and had the equipment they need to carry out their roles safely.

We could start looking for the first installment from the f*cking fool who managed to pay out £30 million to a pizza parlour who pretended they owned a couple of cross Channel ferries.

I would make a very bad police officer because I'd want to let off half the people I caught, and kill the other half.

In reality the yuck factor would preclude me from a nursing career. Though I have twice been mistaken for a doctor when attending hospitals, perhaps because of my confident manner.

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:I should be a psychiatrist. I've known that since I was 18.

My instincts have said that.

Those tests that tell you what job you should be doing have said that.

Well that's exciting. You could train up. I have a friend who came from Zimbabwe and trained up via college courses while being victimized by the Home Office. When her leave to remain was granted after another appeal, she had the qualifications to go to uni, and now that's what she does for a living.

You should go for it if you feel suited to it.

Fangirl Three wrote:I would make a very bad police officer because I'd want to let off half the people I caught, and kill the other half.

In reality the yuck factor would preclude me from a nursing career. Though I have twice been mistaken for a doctor when attending hospitals, perhaps because of my confident manner.

The only times I've ever been mistaken for someone doing a job I wasn't are the many times I've been mistaken for a prostitute. I probably do have a confident stride - because I have a decent sense of direction, and many have remarked on my tendency to stand on the kerb facing out into traffic.

This is because I think talking on mobiles while walking along the pavement in everyone's way is completely unacceptable. So I stand over where I'm not likely to be in anyone's way, watching traffic so I don't get run over or hit by a cab door being flung open. It just has that one downside to it.

I think Butterfield would make a lovely celebrity gardener. I can see an afternoon slot, with advertising agents ramming their way into his lucrative space with obscene offers, and saucy annual calendars cherished by old ladies and students alike.

'After Dark' on C4. A relaunch, with me hosting the conversation and co-producing, is my ultimate dream job.

My own living room has played host to many a conspiratorial late night confession/debate/get together with a very wide range of people, and would look excellent on camera as a suitable location for the conversation.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/After_Dark_(TV_programme)