Not...

Egg salad!?

That would have been a splendid gesture of risk defiance.

But actually it was lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and olives. And some almonds and raisins.

I've just had three crumpets with butter.

I am about to try to microwave some sprouts.

I always assumed you can't microwave them. That they'd explode, or something.

YouTube assures me it's the best way to cook them.

I intend to have them with fish which I shall also be microwaving.

Are they fresh or frozen?

If they're fresh you need to add a bit of water apparently.

I think she's already doing it.

They were frozen.

I have now had my sprouts and fish.

Nothing exploded.

Everything tasted as it was supposed to.

Put a cover over the fish because it tends to explode, and spray the inside of the microwave with pungent fish fragments.

My best way of cooking sprouts is to steam them in a metal colander over a pan of water on the hob. They don't come apart, they retain all their flavour and they're deliciously soft.

Coland-wot?

What are you getting at?

You and your fancy kijin appliances.

Colon-somethings indeed.

It'll be courgette mandolins and ungodly egg-shapers and obscenely intimate turkey basters next.

I have got a mandolin, but I only use it for radishes.

I had sardines on toast for lunch. Very nice. Cheap too, I estimate the cost of the meal (not counting gas) was about 50p.

I have just made a curry by putting chopped potatoes, peas, Brussels sprouts, mushrooms, sliced peppers and 2 tablespoons of curry powder in a bowl, covering it with a saucer and leaving it in the microwave for 20 minutes.

It proved to be edible.

Thinking about it, it might have been 16 minutes.

When I was getting my Presies in for birthadays from the Polish sklep, I got in some:

Niepasteryzowane is unpasturised, apparently.

I've had oven bake fish and oven chips, as I always do on Fridays. I always think it's going to be more of a treat than it is.