The microwave causes the water in the food to boil, thus heating up the entire food item.

I'm working on an assumption that the water in the fake butter will be sufficient to cook the bread and, without the added tap water, that will produce a drier and lighter texture.

There will be precious little water in the fake butter.

No more than actual butter in any event - no more than 20% (almost always considerably less).

It'll most likely to be almost all fats of some description.

IMO, this water content isn't enough to create the right kind of hot steam within the bread to cook it as well as you've so far achieved.

Also, water that's emulsified with fats has to break down and separate before it can sufficiently begin to act as a cooking agent, thus potentially throwing your predicted cooking times off.

BTW, I think you might be close to finding the optimum microwave bread recipe.

It'll probably just need a few bits of tinkering regarding the addition and/or subtraction of water.

BTW, do you add salt?

Also, I may try this too.

Not because I'm mad to sample this taste sensation and witness the accompanying alchemical miracle (cos bread gives me the tummywobbles), but because it seems a fascinating experiment.

I hope to hear from the Countess regarding her research too.

Also, you're making it in a mug?

I am making it in a mug.

I didn't add salt, as I assume the fake butter will already have salt in it.

I have now made my latest loaf. I took your advice on board and used two tablespoons of water, instead of last night's four.

And I used five heap tablespoons of flour, instead of four.

And I was right. With the reduced tap water input, the bread was much drier and cakier and even a little bit crispy. I think this is as good as I can get it with the current ingredients.

So, my recipe is now:

A mug.

Put four tablespoons of butter in it.

Put it in the microwave for 15 seconds at 800 watts to start it melting.

Add 3 heap tablespoons of plain flour.

Add a 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder.

Add 2 more heap tablespoons of plain flour.

Mix it all together until it's, "crumbly."

Add 2 tablespoons of tap water.

Mix it well in.

Put it in the microwave for 90 seconds at 800 watts.

If it's got no damp patches on top, it's ready. If it does have a damp patch on top, put it back in for another 20-30 seconds.

Immediately tip it out onto a plate to prevent it sticking to the inside of the mug.

When I go to the shops, tomorrow, I'll get some self-raising flour and actual real butter and see how that works.

I'm about to try my bread recipe with self-raising flour and real butter.

I've done it.

It worked but the bread was, structurally, very weak and was falling apart in my hands.

But it's the first step in the scientific process what leads ultimately unto absolute perfection.

I like plain white bread, for toasting. Something is wrong with the recent loaf I bought - when it's toasted it's hard and brittle. You can't even cut through it with a knife properly, and then suddenly after sawing away, it snaps. It's like chewing concrete.

A German friend of mine said the most offensive thing about Britain is the bread. Apparently many Germans think so - a woman I spoke to once in a Berlin nightclub said one of the highlights of leaving London was leaving British bread behind.

I had a Tesco pretzel for breakfast and it was of good quality.

I've just tried the same recipe but not heating up the butter first, in the hope that it would restrict the bubbling process in the bread and make it less physically weak.

It actually made it more physically weak.

I am using my recipe again tonight but, this time, I'm leaving the dough in the fridge for half an hour. Apparently, that makes a difference but I don't know in what way or why.

It firms it up some?

Would it not just be easier and cheaper to buy some? What are you doing with all this bread being made? The ducks in Sheffieldshire must be very well fed.

It's much cheaper to make your own bread. If you use a microwave, it only costs a fifth to a quarter of what it costs to buy it.

Tonight, I've made my latest attempt at microwave bread.

It involved:

8 heap tablespoons of self-raising flour.

6 tablespoons of cold water.

A pinch of salt.

A sensible amount of thinly-chopped cheddar fragments.

All stirred together in a bowl, until thick and gloopy.

Empty the dough into a bowl that's been lined with melted butter, so the dough won't stick to it.

Put that bowl into a microwave, at 800 watts for 2.5 minutes, with a lid on the bowl, in case of cheese explosion.

Then leave in the fridge for 5 hours, to cool.

And you know what?

It was great. Easily the best microwave bread I've ever made. Not only did it taste like proper bread but, thanks to the cheddar fragments exploding in the microwave, the bread had air pockets in it which made it nice and light while still being structurally robust.

I, therefore, have no hesitation in recommending this recipe to people.

Is this cheese-explosion raising method your own invention?