His eyes seem to be predominantly brown but look green in some circumstances. Perhaps Amber flecks. I discussed it this morning during a rest period and he seemed touched. I don't think the previous one noticed - he said she never bothered with nice words. Having met her, and her white candy floss hair, I can well believe she was a particularly selfish and one sided sh*g.

I find it very difficult to just receive without giving, and he seems rather taken aback by that. Particularly as I say, verbally. Mind you, to get to 30 and have only had three other lovers, one of them for over a decade, it's all rather out of my experience of the world. I've had more than that in a night. Not often, but once or twice.

Maybe this explains his intensity and the great importance he places on sexual intimacy. I haven't shared my plans for the morning after pill because he would be hurt. I agreed this weekend that whatever happened happened. That didn't have a caveat.

It's taken me years to get into a position whereby I don't need to factor parenthood in, where my son is old enough to have his own plans, and I can enjoy things like bank holidays alone. He says he understands, but I don't think so, and he's so lovely with his daughter that I don't think he's able to see it my way. She's relatively sweet but could do with a good hiding. All this 'daddy' business makes me feel rather nauseous. She's 10 ffs.

I have pointed out everything from being 37, to my figure, to my hatred of pregnancy and its attendant horrors re sleep, clothing, etc, to not wishing to divide my sons inheritance in half. Not to mention that I only have two bedrooms and no intention of moving. He still looks at me with these lovely kind eyes and says let's just see what happens. And during sex, rather more than that.

How have others gone about this? I don't want to be 50 and dealing with a teenager.

I have opened the wine that I intended to keep for tomorrow. It never turns out well when I go onto a second bottle.

I'm opening one now. Great episode of THT. I think I'll watch the final of the Jade doc.

I've had two bottles of wine minus one glass. This isn't going to end well.

I've had one bottle and two Valium and I'm off shortly to sleep in a single bed. I think his mattress is much better than mine. Watched Jade, rang a friend to discuss that and my dilemma. Going to just say a firm no to all that jazz. I think a productive evening all in all.

Ooh I've got a headache.

I don't envy you having a headache in the heat. You should've had a pint of water and a couple of painkillers before bed. That usually makes hangovers pretty bearable.

I've found myself babysitting a neighbours black pug this morning. He's quite sweet - I've misted him with Avene Thermal water and he's resting beside me. Looks a little bit like a seal.

I've got to walk into town too. Hopefully that will help me sweat out the toxins.

I feel a bit better now, it was a good idea to go out. And I bought a tablet in town. Not a hangover curing tablet sadly, a keyboardless computer.

I find that a bit hard to swallow.

Interestingly I plan to use it twice a day at mealtimes...

And the sun's come out.

I've just had to go out and read the riot act in no uncertain terms to a bunch of 'workmen' using power tools and a leaf-blower in the garden of the posh house that backs onto the estate.

They seem to have desisted.

The NHOTW is fast becoming the most assertive forum on the internet!

Soon all we'll have to do is at people.

Words will become obsolete.

The bank holiday starts here.

All the service stations were rammed today, even Annandale Water which is in Scotland, and where there isn't a Bank Holiday on Monday.