Have you considered a gimmick for the general?

The structural issue is getting worse. Another leak has appeared. I’m absolutely bored to death, I’m done with living here.

Looking into selling now. After this is fixed of course. It’s been one thing after another really.

The police had to put the door in - of the empty flat the latest leak was coming into mine from - for the fire brigade to gain access. I felt quite embarrassed by the fuss, apologetic in fact towards the six to eight fire people plus two officers of the law.

Who knew firemen were so glamorous btw? The female one looked like a young Pamela Anderson.

My mother came round. That’ll be nice. It was 15 minutes before an explosion. The entire neighbourhood now knows all my financial affairs. Anyone outside or with a window open knows the ins and outs of my private business, the contents of accounts, and more.

I said I was hoping to sell and move. Immediately it was a nightmare. My mother starts out from the assumption that everything is impossible. I said she was a black cloud. She said I was exactly like my fathers mother - ‘just like your gran X, always scheming for more’.

I can’t even set up my new phone. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

I had to ring the mobile company on a different phone, and he started going on about gigabytes and how I could ‘set up across 35 devices’. Thirty five! Who the hell has thirty five mobiles?

Still no further forward, and no indication of how to place the SIM card in the ******* thing.

Usually, these days, they have a little hole in the side. You stick a metal pin into it and a little tray pops out which you put the SIM into.

Yes there’s a hole, and I’ve tried. Nothings popped out but the hole is now damaged.

It’d be nice to buy something that didn’t require a YouTube search for an instruction video.

My mother is obliterated again. I rang up to confirm something an hour or so again. She can hardly speak. She just does not care.

It’s the lying I object to. ‘No, I haven’t been drinking’ or the closest approximation to that - why bother?

It’s so demoralising. It’s making me unwell.

I went over there earlier, after that post. I was stunned by the smell of pure vodka - opening the door was enough for a full ‘unscrewing the cap’ effect. She’s passed out, so I just left her to it. She’s getting worse. I’m at the end of my tether really.

I was on the vod last night too. I've got a proper Sunday morning feeling right now.

Are you CT's mother?

I have been invited to two weddings on the same day.

There’s no dilemma, I’m only going to one and have no problem turning down the second.

I just think it’s a cheek couple two have invited me - she knows I don’t like weddings, and I don’t know him at all. After much thought, canvassing for opinion, I have decided they will be receiving a present - a signed photograph of moi in the most offensively cheap frame I can find. That should put paid to any christening invites that might trickle in from the same direction over the next few years.

Couple one I accepted because they’re family - they had a stillbirth a few months ago. I actually thought they were already married, but no. My uncle is opening up his house for the wedding itself and the reception to take place in, so that should look great. He’s not sentimental at all, but they’re his favourite relatives and they’ve had a torrid time, so he’s bending over backwards.

I’ve yet to buy them anything - I’ve contributed to a communal present (as in my mother, brother, and me, also on behalf of my son and niece) which is four nights in Lisbon. I want to get them something lovely they can unwrap too.

All I know is that whatever I give them will be wrapped in white chiffon. After a debacle with a bed frame which it was bought for, that never looked right and finally gave up the ghost, I’ve got several metres of it stashed away in a cupboard.

SiberianPrincess’sMidriff wrote:

Are you CT's mother?

That’s not funny. My mother isn’t a joke. She’s a nice person with a serious health problem.

I was at the opticians earlier.

Glasses can’t come off the shelf for me, they have to be slightly adjusted due to my nose having been broken as a child.

This requires sitting in front of someone with a ruler and a measuring tape, as well as a pair of mock up glasses with legs that are detachable, to get just the right balance.

Anyway, sitting face to face, uncomfortably close, she keep saying tilt this way, that way, look to the ceiling with your face upwards, and ‘can you look down’ - moving your face downwards to do so. Understood.

I’d look down to find that once again I was staring straight at her breasts, and she knew I was, so then I’d look to the side immediately, or back up, and the delicate balance of measurement was lost.

This happened five or six times, and neither of us said anything.

I’m off to look at a property later.

When I made the appointment they asked me to provide financial information - either a statement of some kind, a letter from a banker that I could afford the price, etc - I thought that was quite rude, but maybe that’s just how they do it.

This morning I went to see a place I liked. It’s modern (late 20th century), with a (communal) pool in the garden.

In person, not so impressive and the grounds were rather plain. There wasn’t much love there.

Stitches coming out today.

Are there are lot of them?