Local news - it's more often than not about an excess of gnomes positioned on the fringe of a village common that potentially may cause a plaster breakage that means a tiny speck of gnome flicks into the eye of someone innocently eating a ploughman's lunch (1 slice of stale French bread, a 'hunk' of Cathedral City mild cheddar, two cherry tomatoes, one leaf of little gem lettuce, a spindly 'length' of reshaped pork matter and a teaspoon of Asda-brand 'Branston' = £24).
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Have you ever seen a Squonk's tears?
Hitskin.com
