I had bacon, black puddin', mushrooms fried egg and lashing of toast (lo-phat spread)

Wonder what time the gym opens?

Maybe I might have a lie down for a bit?

I have just eaten my Mr Kipling mince pies.

They were OK. They tasted like I remember mince pies tasting.

Interestingly I have just this minute had a Kipling mince pie.

I'm glad I only had one pig in blanket with my dinner, they're very filling.

We had buttered asparagus, followed by roast chicken breast with green vegetables, and then a lemon roulade with raspberries, all ably cooked by my mother. Very nice.

No breakfast - chicken was in the slow cooker, so nobody was up before noon, which is perfect.

Then we all watched ‘Death on the Nile’ together after the king.

Later on, I had a Pink Lady apple and a cup of Turkish Rose hot chocolate during EastEnders.

There’s a cheese board with a variety of chutneys for tomorrow.

I had over 4000 calories yesterday, drinks included. I think in retrospect, scrambled eggs for breakfast were a step too far.

Jam tarts for breakfast.

I had jam tarts and lager for breakfast. I am officially in party mode.

Oh my goodness. I was thinking I was going it a bit by having red wine with our lunch.

I've just had a pizza and meatballs.

I'm having some Grom Pistachio gelato, with Pistachios from Turkey and Iran.


Can't but help think about Monty Python's Cruchy Frog.

Or, wait, that was Iraqi frogs wasn't it?

I decided to finish off the Edam for breakfast so as not to have to take it on my journey.

I wish I hadn't now.

Seabrooks' Crunchies. They're like Quavers but thicker and crinkly.

Dark Thunder energy drink.

I've always been completely blithe about my fatty dinner inputs dinner-wise, but, this evening, I feel as if I may need to reign the oilatin levels dinnerwise in.

I might die tonight is what I am trying to say,

And we haven't heard from him since.