Nightjar's ever growing list of mini-film reviews.

WATCHED

1) Belko Experiment - June 2017 - rubbish
2) Life - June 2nd - OK
3) Get Out - quite good at the time, on reflection overrated and very silly
4) Raw - 23rd May - watchable Frog cannibal vet school
5) The Void - Astron 6 hospital set cosmic gore-fest thumbs up!
6) Phoenix Forgotten - time-loop-teens - yawn
7) A Dark Song - satanic summoning 2-hander - OK
8) The Monster - kids trapped in car backside torpedo - backside torpedo
9) Unforgettable - funny, campy - like a TVM
10) Mindhorn - IoM Jeremy Barrett comedy - OK, just funny enough
11) Alien: Covenant - August 2017 - Ridley Scott can just snuggle rumpusing do one
12) It Comes at Night - aka Sod All Comes at Night - worthless
13) Gerald’s Game - Stephen King sex horror - OK
14) Lady Macbeth - Gothic Flo-Po shenanigans - OK
15) Annabelle: Creation - mid-October 2017 - rubbish
16) The Killing of a Sacred Deer - hmm, not great
17) Hounds of Love - Aussie kidnap drama - pretty good
18) The Limehouse Golem - Over-dressed, under-egged Victorian tripe - meh
19) Mother! - J-Law, Bardem and BF stuck in a house - awful
20) Killing Ground - Aussie camping horror - Nov 7th - rubbish
21) Better Watch Out - Xmas babysitting/evil kid larks - OK
22) Wind River - Liz Olsen thriller from writer of Sicario and Hell or High Water - backside torpedo
23) Blade Runner 2049 - January 18th, 2018 - rubbish
24) Ingrid Goes West - kinda OK (cos Aubrey Plaza)
25) Happy Death Day - Groundhog Day slasher - rubbish
26) Mom and Dad - Nic Cage, Selma Blair domestic horror - OK-ish
27) The Snowman - Fassbender killer thriller - UNWATCHABLE!!
28) Suburbicon - George Clooney directed racist neighbours satire - just about passable
29) Three Billboards Blah Blah - absolute and utter snuggle rumpusing backside torpedo
30) Annihilation - I quite enjoyed it (got bored during a rewatch)
31) The Ritual - Adam Nevill adapted UK/Sweden woodland horror - quite good
32) The Last Jedi - March, 2018 - shockingly bad
33) The Death of Stalin - Boring, stodgy, gave up on it
34) Insidious: The Last Key - Not Gr8, but still I likee
35) Toni Erdmann - a genuinely wonderful film
36) I Remember You (Ég man þig) - Scandi-noir-horror - meh
37) You Were Never Really Here - Lynn Ramsay, JPhoenix revenger - meh meh meh
38) Wildling - Liv Tyler, Brad Dourif - underdeveloped, but passable
39) Resolution - 2012 - didn’t realise I’d seen it - passable (companion piece to The Endless)
40) Game Night - Jason Bateman black comedy - May 4th - so so
41) Thoroughbreds - Anya Taylor Joy, killer kids - kinda OK
42) Red Sparrow - J-Law thriller - May - just about watchable (painful accents)
43) Spring - Yank goes to Italy meets sexy monster 2014 - quite good
44) A Quiet Place - Emily Blunt horror - meh
45) The Endless - 2017 - OK - (companion piece to Resolution)
46) Blockers - John Cena virginity comedy - passable
47) Happy End - lighter fayre from Haneke  - was OK
48) Truth or Dare - Lucy Hale generic horror - rubbish/entertaining
49) Gemini - mystery thriller - entertaining, if a little brief
50) Calibre - passable Highlands set accidentally shot a bloke thriller
51) In Darkness - Dormer dross - unfinished (boring, pretentious)
52) Hereditary - Toni Collete horror - fairly decent
53) Upgrade - Leigh Whannell rubbish! Joy!! Disappointing
54) Ghost Stories - unoriginal rubbish with all people in
55) Beast - Rural-set UK serial killer mystery - passable (Jessie Buckley?)
56) Nails - Irish horror - saw some on Netflix - disabled Mum - bit rubbish
57) First Reformed - relatively creepy Ethan Hork, Amanda Seyfried religious drama - kinda OK
58) Solo - passable at best
59) Hotel Artemis - Jodie Foster SF - passable, if clunky entertainment
60) Lowlife - passable if minor - depressing and uneven
61) Mandy - Nic Cage revenge madness - snuggle rumpusing ACE!!
62) Unfriended: Dark Web - rubbish/good
63) Sorry To Bother You - a bit heavy handed, but OK
64) The Nun - atrocious
65) Searching - v pooer (Harold off of Kumar)
66) Hold the Dark - strange G Rush and Stellan Thingy pursuit thriller - surprisingly good
67) A Simple Favour - Lively-Kendrick black comedy - OK, entertaining
68) The House that Jack Built - Von Trier, Matt Dillon perversity - uneven but OK
69) What Keeps Us Alive - bint’s honeymoon - abysmal (not quite as bad when rewatched)
70) Sicario II - not great but passable
71) Halloween Kills 2018 - worthless (the most unscary horror film ever?)
72) Overlord - nazi experiment bunker horror - dumb, gory fun
73) Suspiria - could’ve been worse
74) Possum - Typical British shite - from a short story by Bob Holness (and it shows)
75) The Clovehitch Killer - OK, watchable - got silly (might need a rewatch)
76) Escape Room - I got the wrong one with Sean Young (2017) - abysmal
77) Escape Room - proper 2019 version - Passable - not as good as it could’f been
78) The Hole in the Ground - Irish horror - barely passable
79) Russian Doll - N. Lyonne time-loop mini-series - got better after a mundane start
80) The Woods - girls’ boarding school horror - OK-ish??
81) Teeth - vagina dentata horror - good - Like Ginger Snaps, a successful take on a trad sub-genre
82) You Might be the Killer - frantic meta-fun - watch with The Boys?
83) Border - Danish troll psycho-sexual drama - gneuinely good
84) The Prodigy - possessed kid rubbish - I kind of enjoyed it
85) Cracks - Juno T boarding school rubbish - OK
86) Greta - CGM-Huppert - pretty weak
87) Us - Jordan Peele - very disappointing
88) Brightburn - what a shame it wasn’t better developed. Mildly fun though.
89) Ma - Octavia Spencer sinister Ma thriller/horror - OK
90) Child’s Play - Aubrey Plaza led reboot - liked it
91) Midsommar - OK, not much more
92) Annabelle Comezzzzzzz Home…
93) Crawl - Kaya Crocodilario - Good, pretty good, bit brief perhaps
94) 47 Metres Down: Uncaged - passable rubbish (bonus points for nasty twist)
95) Ready or Not - Sweaving hide n seek wedding nonsense - mediocre
96) It: Chapter Two - OK
97) Her Smell - Elizabeth Moss rocker psych-drama - OK, bit smelly
98) Don’t Let Go - stoopid
99) Girl on the Third Floor - pretty good
100) The Lighthouse - Pattinson/Dafoe - bit overrated
101) Wounds - bartender loses his mind? - initially OK, fell to bits after a bit
102) Harpoon - murderous kids at sea - passable
103) In Fabric - Strickland’s best movie about cursed gown - amusing
104) The Nightingale - Aisling Franciosi - OK
105) Color out of Space - HP Cagecraft!! - bit disappointing
106) The Standoff at Sparrow Creek - over-baked thriller
107) Monos - Brazil-set surreal paramilitary drama - OK
108) The Invisible Man - More Moss - OK
109) Vivarium - Poots and Jesse trapped in suburban nightmoo - OK
110) Star Wars IX - improved after a bit
111) The Lodge - Riley Keogh horror - OK
112) Doctor Sleep - meh
113) Extra Ordinary -  Paddy comedy-horror - pretty funny
114) Sputnik - Russian alien sf - OK
115) American Mary - Soszka Sisters and thingy out of Ginger Snaps - OK, faded
116) Climax - Gaspar Noe’s dance-acid-hell-trip - I actually enjoyed it
117) Antebellum - Gat Out/BLM bandwagon-jumping rubbish
118) The Intruder - Quaid as psycho neighbour - rubbish fun
119) Nocturne - large family of small passerine birds McGee in music school psycho-drama - flattered to deceive
120) The Rental - run-of-the-mill Abnb slasher - hmm, OK-ish at best
121) Unhinged - Russell Crowe road rage maniac - passable
122) Violation - rape-revenge thriller - a really poor take on the subject
123) Saint Maud - Bonkers zealot nun - OK
124) Scary Stories to tell in etc - rubbish for kids
125) The Conjuring III - boring
126) Jakob’s Wife - Babs Crampton - I think I thought it was OK
127) The Son - was it OK-ish?
128) Fear of Rain - OK-ish (I think)
129) Things Seen and Heard - Seyfried tosh - OK
130) Psycho Goreman - Vestron fun - GR8 fun rewatching it with The Boys
131) A Quiet Place II - worthless shite (more like an action film really)
132) Till Death - Megan Fox tripe - I liked it
133) Anything For Jackson - It was OK, but went crap after a bit
134) 12 Hour Shift - Angela Bettis hospital-set black comedy-thriller - OK
135) Nobody - normo Odenkirk revenger - overrated
136) Censor - video nasty UK horror - OK
137) Escape Room II - meh (again, more like an action film really)
138) Don’t Breathe II - not as bad as they said
139) Found (2012) - smartphone missing person thriller - had promise - up to a point
140) The Swarm - French locust horror - OK
141) Malignant - seriously silly, beezer fun!
142) Sea Fever - Paddy seabound virus horror - passable
143) Old - Shyamalan shite - yes, shite
144) Candyman - faux-Jordan Peele reboot - also shite
145) Last Night In Soho - ATJ and Thomasin M Soho ’60’s period piece - OK/good even
146) The Night House Rebecca Hall - OK - overcomplicated and annoying by the end
147) Booksmart - Olivia Wilde directed teen-comedy-drama - OK, until the end
148) The Boy Behind the Door - Kidnapped kids - fell apart after an OK start
149) Antlers - Can’t even remember - OK?
150) Titane - watchable frog-dross by Raw director
151) Caveat - poe-faced UK adult-sitting a psycho bint horror - passable
152) Lamb - Noomi R - spoilt badly by the ending
153) The Lost Daughter - Olivia Colman drama - OK
154) The Feast - Taff-Horror - OK
155) The Dry - Eric Banana outback mystery - fairly crap
156) Superhost - stoopid Abnb slasher
157) Amulet - Imelda-nun-horror - OK
158) Master - BLM college mystery - passable
159) My Son - McAvoy kidnap drama - got crappy after a bit
160) The Beta Test - anonymous sex-mystery - OK
161) X - Ti West Slasher - Pretty good
162) Pearl - OK
163) You Won’t Be Alone - witch-relay - didn’t feel it
164) The Cursed - werewolf saga - OK til the end
165) Werewolves Within - watchable
166) Black Phone - meh
167) Fresh - cannibal/dating horror - OK-ish
168) Watcher - Maika Monroe - OK, not as good as suggested
169) Men - Buckley/Kinnear meta-horror - OK (Kinnear was ace)
170) Nope - OK
171) Speak No Evil - cynical, mean-spirited trash
172) Don’t Worry Darling - Dreadful, but watchable
173) Smile - cant remember if it was OK (rewatched it - it’s not gr8)
174) Barbarian - kinda good
175) Nocebo - Eva Green cleaner film - passable to a point
176) Bodies Bodies Bodies - comedy slasher - OK-ish
177) The Menu - ATJ/Fiennes - quite good
178) Soft & Quiet - Olivia Luccardi - OK, bit hysterical
179) The Wonder - Flo-Po starvation drama - OK
180) M3GAN - doll horror fun - yes, fun
181) Infinity Pool - B Cronenberg/M Goth - annoying and overlong
182) Funny Pages - OK, V grim and grubby though
183) Deadstream - Annoying film about an annoying pleasure cavern
184) Hatching - OK, but weirdly, actually a bit gross
185) Piggy - Spanish fatty revenger - OK
186) Play Dead - Inane but inoffensive morgue thriller
187) Unwelcome - It was entertaining (the ‘little people’ lol)
188) The Cellar - Paddy hell-house - It could’ve been good, but it were not
189) What Josiah Saw - hillbilly horror with T3000 - not great
190) Cocaine Bear - pretty poor - bad direction - a missed opportunity
191) Poser - hanger-on podcast wannabe creep bint drama - OK
192) The Artifice Girl - AI girl created to catch nonces psych-thriller - OK
193) Huesera The Bone Woman - Mexican gender/maternal strife psych-drama?
194) Influencer - More influencer psych-drama/thriller stuff - watchable
195) Sisu - Finnish WWII nazi slaughter revenge - OK
196) The Pope’s Exorcist - Good old fashioned fun
197) Renfield - Amusing Nic and Nick nonsense
198) There’s Something Wrong With the Children - changeling kids - barely passable
199) Insidious The Red Door - good start - devolved into US college-set meh
200) Sympathy for the Weevil - Nic Cage revenge foolishness (OK)
201) Talk to Me - Overrated much?
202) The Mafu Cage - crazy 1970s Carol Kane horror - pretty good
203) Birth/Rebirth - Kid clinical resurrection - OK
204) Pollen - Underpowered workplace abuse/tree-man-thing - lame
205) Hellhole - Polish nunnery malarky - kinda OK
206) Slotherhouse - NO! It is not a masterpiece FFS.
207) The Open House - the ending… that ending! Garbage
208) Rotting In The Sun - dicks-ahoy Mexican wild-ride - kinda good
209) Level 16 - low budget but OK teen girls in a competitive bunker-school
210) The Beasts - Espanish ‘you’re not from round these parts are e?’’ nastiness - quite good
211) Terrified - Argie bloke - seriously overrated (dead kid was good though)
212) When Evil Lurks - Argie bloke again - seriously overrated again
213) The Legend of Spider Forest - gothic arachnoid Bavarian weirdness - OK
214) Road Games - Keach and JLC Aussie road thriller - good/GR8
215) Fade to Black - ‘80s meta-cult classic - good
216) Lemora - ‘70s, witchy, murky madness - Pretty good
217) Flux Gourmet - Strickland tomfoolery - OK, slightly hard work
218) Leave the World Behind - J. Roberts NTFLX apoc’-drama - watchable, but pointless on reflection
219) Nobody Gets Out Alive - from the Nevill-novel - forgot I saw it (OK?)
220) Moloch - Dutch swampiness - OK (bit muddled)
221) Totally Killer - Shipka slasher - Watchable
222) Sacrifice Game - Girls boarding school demonic/slasher - not very good at all
223) Thanksgiving - Eli Roth slasher - passable but too long
224) Dream Scenario - Cage more absurdist meta-horror - OK, but overrated
225) Stigma - Weird, affecting ‘70s UK short - standing stones/fem-drama
226) T.I.M. - UK android-in-the-house thriller - embarrassing backside torpedo
227) Femme - Tranny revenger - OK
228) Late Night With the Devil - Went to the movies!! OK
229) Imaginary - teddy bear horror - total rubbish
230) Immaculate - large family of small passerine birds McSweeney nun horror - OK
231) Sleeping Dogs - Russell Crowe is turning into Bruce Willis crime memory-mystery - dross
232) You’ll Never Find Me - Aussie bloke in a caravan - boring
233) Love Lies Bleeding - KSTWRT - crime revenger - disappointing
234) Monkey Man - Dev Patel revenger - only just watchable guff
235) The Blackening - horror-comedy - agricultural but watchable nonsense
236) Civil War - A bit underpowered and predictable - passable fayre though
237) Infested - spidery nonsense - French banlieue - passable tosh
238) Sting - more spidery nonsense - US - girl nurtures alien black widow - passable
239) Baghead - Bint inherits spooky pub paddy crap
240) Stopmotion - A. Franciosi psych-horror - OK
241) Abigail - ballerina black horror comedy - what do people see in this tripe?
242) The First Omen - watchable, but (as ever) overrated (and canon-tampering)
243) Under Paris - inane NTFLX shark larks
244) Tarot - predictable rubbish
245) Fair Play - over-baked, hedge fund travellers in the garden of desperation go off the rails - barely passable
246) I Saw the TV Glow - backside torpedo (what am I missing here?)
247) In a Violent Nature - I thought it was OK
248) Watchers - Missing what the made the book memorable - avg at best
249) MaXXXine - a bit disappointingly run-of-the-mill (Lily Collins: SHUDDER!)
250) Smoking Causes Coughing - Inane even QD’s standards
251) Oddity - Paddy supernatural blind sister revenger - OK
252) Longlegs - kinda pretty good
253) Starve Acre - OK, but a bit overwrought and poe-faced
254) A Quiet Place III - Nyongo-led prequel - pointless rubbish
255) Trap - Shyamalan hits the backside torpedo-pot again!
256) Subservience - Megan Fox psycho-cyborg crape - mildly amusing tripe
257) Cuckoo - Addled, pretentious, ultimately vapid rubbish
258) Blink Twice - Z Kravitz directed psych thriller - quite good until it got silly
259) AfrAId - John Cho - was total crap but not as crap as some were saying/smugly crowing

SOON/ (ISH)

Apartment 7A - Rosemary’s Behbeh prequel
Last Straw - Waitress vs slasher - 20th Sept.
I’ll Play Mother - foster parents rubbish? - 24th Sept.
The Wasp - Dormer - October 1st.
Strange Darling - some slasher rubbish - October 1st.
Curse of the Necklace - October 1st.
Down Below -  October 1st.
Spin the Bottle - October 4th.
Alien Romulus - October 15th.
The Substance - Demi Moore - October 29th.
Azrael - S Weaving - unknown.
Heretic - Hugh Grant (not for ages)


NOW?

?

STALLING?

?

ON ICE - INDETERMINATE - ABANDONED

Boy Kills World - Bill SKRSGRD revenger
Altered Perceptions - political, dystopian, identity, something?
Double Blind - sci-fi - seemed cheap and amateurish
Knock at the Cabin - Shyamalan does Tremblay - yeah, nah!
Fantasy Island - horror twist on telly show - Watched some - idiotic but almost watchable
Two Witches - muddled, try-hard gross-out old bats eating babies tripe
The Inhabitant - Lizzie Borden curse (did I finish it?)
The Passenger
The Offering - family vs weevil home rubbish - looks a bit crappy
Skinamarink - I don’t think I can be bothered 1
Bitch Ass - I don’t think I can be bothered 2
She Will - old bat revenger - stodgily overbaked pseudo neo-gothica
Crimes Of The Future - stalling
The Hustle - fem-heist - could still give it a go (but it’ll be on telly soon probably).
The Tale - Laura Dern drama - actually seemed good
Boys from County Hell - paddy com-horror - seems shite
Wolf - Lily R Depp - Lobster wannabe - dull and pretentious as the proverbial snuggle rumpus
No Sudden Move - BDT twisty crime drama - struggling to be engaged by the genre
I Am the PTTLITH - sooooo booooooooring
They Live in the Grey - possession child custody rubbish
Vicious Fun - got bored of it (could have another go)
His House - had promise, got annoying
My Heart Can't Beat Unless You Tell It To - plodding, arty, uneventful
Block Island Shite
The Vigil - Hassidic Jew-horror - was it any good?
Great White - seemed cheap and crappy, but…
Lovecraft Country - rubbish - HP Lovecraft not included!
VFW - Vietnam vets vs drug dealers horror - March 31st - came over as lazy and rote
Underwater - pretty pretty bad (yep, subsequently watched on telly and it was a procession of faux-Lovecraft predictabilty)
Take Shelter - Michael Shannon psych-thriller - may have seen it already??
Evolution - weirdy, ‘enigmatic’ boy at the beach thing (could have another look)
High Life - Pattinson/Claire Denis/Mia Goth ’spaghettification sci-fi - was annoying/boring me
Eli - spooky kid shite - saw some on NTFLX - meh
Gwen - UK/Welsh folk horror - seemed fairly dull - may pick it up again
The Curse of La Llorona - July - too many films about this La Llorona backside torpedo
The Untamed - Mexican - Possession rip-off?
The Little Stranger - British horror/drama
The Gateway - time-bending rubbish? Was sighing after 10 minutes
Cold Skin - bloke on cold island with all monsters - almost OK
Wormwood - LSD-CIA  - Netflix docudrama - probably OK, but my attention span these days…
Velvet Buzzsaw - High-Concept Art scene-set met-horror - pretty tiresome.
The Dead Don’t Die - Jarmusch does zombies - no thanks
Pet Sematary - June 25th - watched most of it (never seen the original) - really seemed backside torpedo
Itsy Bitsy - giant spider rubbish - started, gave up
Detroit - under-the-radar John Boyega-led true story flop (give it a go?)

SLAUGHTERED

Fear - March 14th
Tales from the Lodge - UK omnibus horror with Crook, Vegas etc - looks shite
The Turning - Turn of Screw update - critically trashed
Wish Upon - very poorly reviewed
God Particle/The Cloverfield Paradox - panned Cloverfield ‘franchise’ entry
The Vault - James Franco-led meta-heist heist (I’ve heard nothing good about it before of since)
Patient Zero - UK/US contagion horror - SRSLY cheapo crud.
Without Name - Irish eco-horror - have I seen it already?
London Fields - Amis meets Amber - nah - consequent reviews indicate that it may be an veh especial car crash of a thing (worth a look ergo?)

The Call of the Wendigo wrote:Stigma. Competent but not very involving.