The DEFUNCT "What's that in your eyeballs" thread? Accept no substitutes!

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Max bumpage, to keep it above the other eyeball threads.

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Now to see what's on the telly right now.

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Can I get through it without another eyeball thread randomly appearing?

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The One Show goes in search of the elusive cuckoo.

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The latest installment of Picnic at Hanging Rock is on BBC2, at 9.

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It's even more terrifying than Hanging at Picnic Rock.

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The worst picnic spot in all of Australia.

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Orangutan Jungle School is on Channel 4 at 8 o'clock.

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Picard discovers he has a son he didn't previously know about.

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No doubt his son will be a rebel and want nothing to do with a Starfleet officer dad.

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I predict that, after narrowly escaping death, thanks to Picard, he will decide that maybe not all Starfleet officers are bad.

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Don't Panic Chaps is on TalkingPicturesTV right now.

I suspect this may be a comedy. It will probably star a small number of people from the Carry On films and a small number of people from the Doctor movies, with an even smaller number of people from the St Trinians films.

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It will be the greatest collision of low-budget franchises ever.

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I will now look at Wikipedia to see if I am right.

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It stars George Cole, so I got that bit right.

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It also stars the bloke who played Charlie Hungerford in Bergerac.

But isn't he just George Cole Mark II?

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You can't have two George Coles in one movie. It'll cause mass confusion and panic.

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I don't have a clue who anyone else in it is.

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It also stars someone called Thorley Walters who was in the St Trinians movies

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