Thank goodness that's over. We had to do role-play yesterday, and I was so bad at it that I got quite demoralised.

Still, at least I learnt how horrible my first two days working in a call centre would be. Or for Tesco.

I'm being threatened with the 'key to the street' because of an ill-advised but justifiably provoked choice of variable names in 2010. Which a certain person busily published in a document for all to see.

I appreciate the dramatic irony of it. Me struck down by an intemperate reaction to provocation decades ago, 2½ months short of my 25 year long service award.

Joke's on you, I'm into that sh*t working at Tesco.

Interestingly, it is exactly 26 years ago to the day since I got a final warning from my first job for spending more time writing a QBASIC hangman than working on boring foreign exchange tasks.

I haven't heard anything about this today. I doubt if I'm out of the woods yet though. I've been looking at job ads for Glasgow.

Status: still not been canned.

Still on the payroll.

I've worked out that every day I don't get canned, is £3 extra pension a year.

Keep giving the dream!

Still employed.

Not sacked as of 5pm. If it does happen, it'll be a Friday or a Monday I reckon.

Having said that, the time I did actually get sacked was on a Tuesday afternoon.

I have a meeting at 3 today which may provide closure. Possibly in a literal sense.

Well, that was a big nothingburger, as my favourite podcast hosts would say.

Maybe I misread the situation after all, cos I'm still on the payroll.

I shall step back down to DEFCON 2.

Don't get complacent!