Because you the forum demanded it.

Now gone, but never forgotten, and an exception to the 'nightclub toilets are fun' rule - Ghetto, behind the Astoria. Never in my life have I seen such disgusting public toilets. I recall having to wade through a corridor there, full of sewage and bits of toilet paper, due to a flood in the loos. There must've been at least three inches of standing 'water'. Fun club, truly terrible toilets.

Honourable mention to an otherwise perfectly charming cafe in Provence, which had a locked toilet to deter coach parties, requiring you to pay €5 for the key - €2 of which was kept and €3 was given back to you on safe return, unless (I thought they were joking) you wanted the toilet seat too, in which case it was the full €5 all in.

As I say, I thought they were joking until I unlocked the door. I went back to the counter and she produced a toilet seat from under the till, along with a couple of bolts that had to be slotted in to the porcelain to attach it.

Still, they had a beautiful terrace with sweeping views, on which you could fume about it all afterwards.

Toilets have become like bins - a resource that is very grudgingly provided because people definitely will abuse it.

My previous storage place furnished an example of both: there was a toilet with a keypad code, which you would be given once you'd been a customer for a while and had supposedly established a good character.

Inside the toilet was a bin for the hand towels, which was always full of unauthorised objects people had disposed of out of their storage units.

Often there was no toilet paper left either, so you had a choice between remembering to bring tissues, or tearing a paper towel into little bits and hoping they didn't clog the bog.

Soooooo cold...

Near my secondary school were some probably 1950s brick-built public toilets down some steps and almost behind bushes. They were labelled LADIES and GENTLEMEN above each door and were incredibly sinister-looking. Rumours were always going around school of inappropriate activities going on in these toilets; it's how I learnt about dodgy doings in these places.

I'm sure they were closed more than 20 years ago and when I've driven past them in more recent times they are still there but very much now look abandoned, with metal grids up at the doors. I'm amazed they haven't been demolished.

Almost all the toilets in Zarnichester were closed down/boarded up/demolished about 15 years ago. If you want a w*e away from the town centre your options were a supermarket with a cafe with toilets, or behind a bush.

It led to awkward situations - in the park near my old house, the abandoned pavilion was reopened as a bright new cafe/tearoom which proved very popular. Except that there were no toilets, so there were always people in there pleading to use the staff toilet and being refused.

That is an actual photograph of an actual toilet I actually went in once by the way actually.

It was located in a village in the furthest North place I've even been in the world.

The village had a rude-ish name.

Twatt?

Bell End.

Wetwang?

Butterfield wrote:

Twatt?

Orkney or Shetland?

Not as far North as Orkney or Shetland and not as rude as you lot of rabble's grotesque guesses.

The smiley I posted above is a clue BTW.

Tonge Moor?

The Water was…

Nightjar wrote:

Soooooo cold...

And deep?

No, she was cold and shallow.