Is it just me or are school holidays set at a ridiculous frequency these days? I think I remember there being an intimidating gap between starting back in January, and whenever Easter was, mid April or whatever.

There's yet another coming up in a week. My mother is taking him to Providenciales and back via New York. He's decided he wants a couple of queen conches for his bedroom. I think they look horribly like vageenas.

I might take the opportunity to have a couple of nights in Brussels. Despite its rather unfair reputation for being staid, I find it's fab and filled with interesting people from everywhere, up to all kinds of fascinating things. It might just make me upset.

But yes, school holidays. Is my memory playing tricks?

cosmictanya wrote:

I was on the tube and a woman sitting opposite looked just like one of those badly made Neanderthal models you sometimes see in museums - wiry hair, jaw out to here, four foot nothing or thereabouts.

My ma say's 'hi' by the way.

Yay or nay?

Nay.

Vaguely yay and nay. Va-yay-nay.

V'jay jay, more like.

That's what I was getting at...

Nightjar wrote:

V'jay jay, more like.

How's your grandad?

Wendi - that's my reaction. Fangirl - I think it's horrific. I feel like the mother from East Is East.

I once had to chair a meeting sitting at a very uncomfortable angle on a table because we had attached an enormous d*ldo to the table top, and due to the very powerful suction attachment nobody could get it off before all the visitors filed in. It was that exact sort of shiny pink shading.

Quote :

because we had attached an enormous d*ldo to the table top

May I ask what prompted you to do such a thing?

It was in someone's bag and we were just seeing how it sat. Very secure, you could definitely use it with confidence.

In case anyone finds themselves in the same situation, you have to slide it to the edge of the surface to release the suction.

As a non coffee drinking caffeine refuser, I don't know the answer so I'm asking, is some kind of machine from Nespresso a decent gift for a middle aged male coffee lover who has done you a favour?

CT, I always imagine that your Mum looks/looked like Marisa Berenson.

Does she look like Marisa Berenson?

Mine? No, she looked like a more tanned Winona Ryder until she became obsessed with Glynis Barbers hair from Dempsey and Makepeace in the 80's and got that exact cut and colour. She's now back to dark.

Hmmm...



Maybe a bit now. But as a younger woman, no noticeable resemblance. My mother has finer features and particularly I'd say, a thinner nose than that. Like Winona Ryder in Heathers and Mermaids. More Heathers.

Perhaps it's you who look more like Marisa Berenson?

But blonde.

Nightjar wrote:

But blonde.

I don't think I do. A few people have said Margot Robbie, which I don't mind at all. I've turned my back on a few drunks who've ventured at Cameron Diaz, and nearly came to blows with one who said Pamela Anderson.

Occasionally I've wondered if people have submitted my picture to those magazine lookalike competitions, and who they've said they thought I looked like - £20 for it if published or whatever. When camera phones came about people in random situations used to ask if they could take a picture, and I was generally too disturbed by them to say no.

I'm not blonde, it's entirely a bottle job. I just prefer it because it goes with more clothes, etc.

Nobody here said anything, but others have pointed out that a coffee lover probably already has all the gear and plastic stuff shouldn't be encouraged.

So he's getting this...



And a handwritten letter.

cosmictanya wrote:

I'm not blonde, it's entirely a bottle job. I just prefer it because it goes with more clothes, etc.

I knew this.

I've seen the pictures.

The ones you've been brave enough to post online years ago on *** in any event.

Cuppa Soup that's two years past its use-by date is OK to use, isn't it?