What's happening in your life?

Not wishing to ignore CT's sufferings, but I myself am having an incredible run of bad luck at the moment.

Having had my last 3 weekends spoilt by my neighbours and their cone tomfoolery, I was looking forward to having my hair cut and my face beautified this morning. But when I got up, there was an email from the bank urging me to phone them about 'suspicious spending patterns' - ie, me transferring money to a new savings account.

So I was struck with fear of having my accounts frozen, and kept trying to phone them, only to get a message saying they're experiencing extremely high call volumes and can't answer. I've tried 6 times now.

And when I got to the salon, although I was able to get my hair cut, when I sat down afterwards to wait for the beautifier, my stylist apologetically said that the former had gone to London for a course and wouldn't be keeping our appointment!

She's obviously read between the lines and is trying to set out her stall as a litigious piece of work if she's banging on about protected characteristics. Well, anyone that takes on that case will be wasting their own time.

Because she earns decently and has a very generous expense account, she's banking wrongly on it being cheaper to keep paying her rather than spending on legal fees to see her off.

I understand your pain Fangirl. Actually they should've called you days ago because her training course would've been known. I hope you got a discount on today and an offer of free treatment next time.

Fangirl Three wrote:
So I was struck with fear of having my accounts frozen, and kept trying to phone them, only to get a message saying they're experiencing extremely high call volumes and can't answer. I've tried 6 times now.

Although I'd been given a direct fraud number in the email, of course I didn't know it wasn't a fake email with a fake number, so I was trying to get through on the customer service number. And I couldn't confirm the number on their website because it's a 'secret' one that they don't publicise.

Then I had a bright idea. I messaged the bank's Twitter account to get them to confirm that the direct number was genuine, which they did. And now I've phoned them and sorted it all out.

So my face may still be unlasered, but at least my bank accounts won't get frozen.

How are you finding laser? I had that lower down the body than the face after hearing good things - it has turned my downstairs area half white, and set off some kind of unexplained allergy that causes hot flushes and hives.

I was not warned of this possibility.

I've had to invest in a desk fan at least a decade before I should have to.

So, my partner/colleague agrees thank god. 

I've sent a letter, as a standalone on headed (thick cream coloured) paper requesting that in light of her work record and lack of commitment/communication, a meeting be arranged at the earliest opportunity (I have provided three possible dates and times for her to choose from, and asked that whichever she chooses be confirmed with my PA in writing, which I think is more than fair) to discuss her future. Yours Sincerely, Tanya Initial-dot Surname. My signature is the only part done by pen, the rest is printed.

Matching envelope with gold embossed bee on the back, first class stamp, sent.

I want to sack her in person because a) I think doing otherwise is tacky, b) it's probably illegal, and c) I've got quite a lot I want to say to her and I'm not giving her the chance to hang up on the phone or not reply by email.

I'll buy a cardboard box with a nice secure lid and pack her personal effects into it this week, so it's waiting for her and she can pick it up on the way out.

I'm just going to stick to the facts, the evidence and constructive guidance for the future. Nothing heated, nothing personal, no smiling, no pleasantries.

I was in two minds about this, but now I'm decided - her reference will be provided there and then printed on paper, signed and dated by pen. It will say 'I confirm that X worked here in the role of Y between X date and Y date.'

I don't feel great about it but she's hardly likely to be plunged into the world of Universal Credit. Her boyfriend pays her mortgage and from what I've seen she's only generous with his cash or ours. Unless she's been spending like a waterfall she should have a fair bit put by.

I'm really annoyed with my partner for employing this layabout. She always does this - employs no hopers when I'm away and then we're stuck with them. Passing due diligence would've ruled this one out - she barely knows what she's doing even when she is there. I find the misapprehension that what we do is 'spin' to be really annoying at the best of times, let alone when it comes from someone who isn't even employed as a publicist. 

We don't have clients or accounts that need to be spun, because we believe in them - it's kind of a basic requirement in order to provide representation that isn't just 'spin'. This girls client that has now been stitched up is an organisation with an eight figure deficit to be explained, managed and reduced*. She's worked for big albeit commercial brands before, so she must realise what she's done. Or maybe not, she's very all right on the night. Obviously because other people make sure it is.

She has a tax free £200 a week grooming allowance and £150 a week hospitality in case she has to cover a lunch bill or whatever, on top of a £39,000 salary and for the last year, a £71,000 annual bonus. She's been paid just over £128,000 a year for treating herself with 'loving kindness' while others break their backs. This won't be the first time I've gone to bed at 5am and got back up at 6am to do her work. There are people who would kill to earn a fifth of that - meanwhile she can't even be ar*ed to use the telephone.

*They are being billed less than standard rates as part of my drive to infuse our ethos with social justice alongside a more pragmatic commercial outlook. Partnering suitable accounts so they each influence the other for the better has been entirely led by me. How dare this person take the absolute fu**ing p*ss to this extent.

It's hard to be forced to be responsible for sacking people.

What's her disability BTW?

Having a bad back from really massive t*ts?

Only a couple of months ago she was pestering me to work on an account with a sovereign fund that invests in prime retail sites and the brands interested in renting them. I ignored her thank goodness, hence the evening thobe I'm having made for myself.

Even if she'd got out from under her duvet, she'd only have turned up and dropped clangers all night about dismembered journalists or whatever she thought was witty and in need of an offer of some 'spin'.

Nightjar wrote:What's her disability BTW?

Having a bad back from really massive t*ts?

Oh how did you know? They've been reduced so we are left with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (which I have myself) and cluster headaches.

And we paid for the reduction. 2 grand a t*t - it was the best we could find. So she'll have not a leg to stand on if she brings up the Equality Act 2010 - adjustments have been made. None suggested to her, so as not to be in breach of the act ourselves. She's also got one of those desks that move up and down, a chair that is more like a board with straps, and more flexitime than I take myself.

I do think nine fully paid months between shifts is pretty generous when it comes to being flexible. You can go from conception from birth in the time it takes her to produce a report.

Nightjar wrote:It's hard to be forced to be responsible for sacking people.

Yes it is hard. She's financially fine which makes it easier but it's still not a pleasant task. As I say if she was literally being turfed out to whatever humiliating Kafka style hell constitutes the dole queue, I'd probably be on Valium at the thought of doing it to her.

She greatly offended a potential client at a meeting last year by saying 'you might think I'm posh because I can speak properly but my mum and dad are totally working class so I understand your service group inside out'. The entire room fell to a horrified silence and she didn't even notice. The tea and cake after was a very frosty affair but there she was, making conversation.

I had to hand write an apology to them from the heart and saying, don't worry, I wouldn't work with us either after that performance, but may I recommend X, Y, Z as great ambassadors, and my professional assessment for free is that you really need to focus on this this and this.

Well I've made a very good start on her work now. Transferring it over to a very sweet and trustworthy girl who can do the middle. I'll check the figures and provide a concluding assessment tomorrow. 

I'm so bloody angry. We employ a 20 year old kid from Tottenham who came here at 17 (running errands) and now earns two thirds of what she's paid. I think it's high time he was paid the full amount in place of her. I've been fighting his case for three years. I now intend to couple it with my own demand to be solely in charge of recruitment.

He's so competent, and just adorable. He brought him mum to the Christmas party and he's very cute with his from high school girlfriend. I wouldn't even interview him - he can have it if he wants.

Well I've had to beat a retreat from the Bunch of Grapes where I went for a relaxing glass of wine. I'd barely sat myself down by a window when a young Polish couple asked if they could join me. Looking for a threesome they said - would I like to? He was quite handsome in a refined way I must admit. 

I've come back home to enjoy an M&S Haddock Mornay in peace.

Haven't felt so awkward in a good couple of months. Not since a friend took me to a dinner and then left me with her friends - a married couple who asked if I'd like to join them in their leather and latex camera sessions. I helped myself to a bottle of their whisky and then spent what seemed like half an hour trying to find my way out of their underground car park before they came down and captured me.

cosmictanya wrote:How are you finding laser?

I have nothing but good things to report. It's got rid of all unwanted hair, and had an overall rejuvenating effect on my skin. I told an interviewee this week that I'd been in my job for 20 years, and she said 'What, did you start when you were 10?'

My only regret is that it's no good for white hairs, which being of a certain age, I have more and more of these days...

Fangirl Three wrote:

cosmictanya wrote:How are you finding laser?

I have nothing but good things to report. It's got rid of all unwanted hair, and had an overall rejuvenating effect on my skin. I told an interviewee this week that I'd been in my job for 20 years, and she said 'What, did you start when you were 10?'

My only regret is that it's no good for white hairs, which being of a certain age, I have more and more of these days...

My mother had great success with laser, and she does look much younger than 65. Considering she's been smoking and drinking, flying around and frying herself in oils on tinfoil when it's sunny for over half a century that's quite remarkable.

It just went wrong for me. I tried electrolysis to shape my eyebrows and that was like being tortured despite my high pain threshold. I thought it would mean never having to pluck again. After the first full 'clearing' I thought no, this is much worse than just light maintenance in between a simple wax when I'm in having them dyed anyway.

After my experience with that, I won't be having micro blading or tattooed on eyeliner either. I can't believe I paid someone to inflict that level of pain on me while I just lay there with silent tears pouring down into my hair.