What's happening in your life?

I'm in the most terrible amount of exhaustion and pain after working through much of the night and early morning. I've got a headache so bad it feels like someone has tried to knock me out with concrete, my neck is badly strained, my back hurts and I can't walk upright, my vision is a little blurred, my left arm has pins and needles, and my hands are stiff (although part of the left hand is also numb). Still, I do hope Madame enjoyed a lovely long sleep and is kindly indulging herself with a tasty brunch.

I have to resort to electro for the white hairs. If you have a couple of paracetamol an hour beforehand it takes the edge off the pain.

Involving what? 

I'm sitting up waiting for Sean to appear. Someone must've had a breakdown in custody or whatever, argued with being sectioned - he was due before 11. I was going to wash my hair but can't be bothered to style it after.

I've put fresh sheets on, and they've been brushed with lavender bunches. I could be in there now. Maybe I should give him a key. I could've done with him here an hour ago. A nice long hug combined with comforting words would've been great.

I'm going to have to look for a private doctor in Lille, Paris or Brussels. My sleeping pill allowance was cut due to a double whammy of disaster stockpiling, and guidance from the Department of Health that too many prescriptions for sleepers and tranqs are being given out. 

My point that the underlying reasons for this escalation in prescriptions to help the nation cope with the horrors of life in 2019 should be addressed by sensitive multi agency approaches rather than cutting people off from medication that works fell on deaf ears. The Protestant work ethic has a lot to answer for. My argument that as a secular person with Catholic and Jewish heritage I was being forced to live according to the rules of an alien ideology likewise got me nowhere. 

I was quite close to tears and still feel very emotional about it all. I didn't scream or cry or shout because I thought it might look worse and prove their contention that I had a 'dependency'. They also have no idea about what might happen next month. What will be will be! I'm going to have to speak to my sons dad - I can't bear living in this increasingly dreadful country.

There is ample research that insomnia is so difficult to live with that sleeping pill dependency is the preferable option. Would I like a leaflet he asked. No said I - what's that going to do, bore me to sleep? If only. He tried to tell me the effectiveness was all in my mind and the pills did nothing. 

So in essence, just a hysteric who can't tell whether certain pills are working or not. That must be why I've barely had a decent nights sleep and have been waking in the dark since they cut my allowance.

That is just so wicked. They want everyone to be wide awake to suffer through what Britain in 2019 is. I'm at the point I'd gladly surrender my passport to live somewhere more civilized. What is the point of medicine decided by statistics rather than personalization?

They give out other pills like sweets. They virtually throw them at you like Willy Wonka on speed. But insomnia, no - that's a sign for the sufferer to be punished, blamed, gaslit, offered leaflets, told they don't know their own body or mind.

I did my back in very badly earlier in the year and they couldn't give me enough tramadol. Not a single word about how dreadful it would be to come off was mentioned. Not one word. It was three days of absolute hell.

Fangirl Three wrote:I have to resort to electro for the white hairs. If you have a couple of paracetamol an hour beforehand it takes the edge off the pain.

Have you tried Germaloid? It contains lidocaine - quite a generous dose I'd say. My brother recommended I give it a go, and despite not suffering from what it's for, I have to say the icy numbness was rather lovely and I used an entire tube just for pleasure.

I would think if you painted it on your face, allowed it to take effect, and then tissue papered off the excess you'd be good for an hour or so of electrolysis.

Yes it does doesn't it? It's a clean medicated scent.

I personally didn't need pain relief for electro, because I got used to it. Though top lip made my eyes water a bit.

I was merely passing on a recommendation in case anyone reading needed it.

A productive and compassionate sacking, even if I do say so myself.

My mother turned up with her phone which is permenently tuned into Facebook. She was having a furious argument on it, and has stormed out to continue that.

Practically demolished the building when she slammed the door. I see that in the five minutes or so she was here she's helped herself to a bottle of champagne, a pair of tweezers, a padded jacket and four Red Lady apples.

Sh***ing f*** - I've just been brushing my hair from underneath and its white. I can see this distinctly because I had a black root dyed in a few weeks ago. Not just the odd few, but predominantly white. I feel completely devastated. A prickly heat of horror has taken hold of me.

I've poured myself a glass of wine and I'm off to find an online support group for other people who are going through this kind of thing.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. That's a miserable thing to happen. I'm sure her boys will appreciate your company.

My best wishes are with you. That is a grim thing to happen. Make sure you take time for yourself and have someone you can offload with - sometimes with a friend rather than a relative, people at large think you should be fine. It's fine not to be.

It's also fine to create a ketchup free zone, and to take the hit on popularity by enforcing that. It's not allowed at Tanya Towers. Sauces that can't be seen through are not fit for human consumption, unless it's chutney.