The next act. I don't know what country she's representing but she's a well-fed girl.

And looks like she might be a bit simple.

What's happening? She's doing live scratching, with her voice.

She's acting like she's got twin turntables.

But she hasn't.

This is so annoying that it's guaranteed to do well.

"Bukka bukka bum oom."

It's words like that that made Eurovision the legend that it is.

This is going to win, isn't it.

It has the necessary gimmickiness, catchiness, danciness, silliness and big noteyness to triumph.

Belarus.

A man in a white shirt, holding a rose, going on about love.

Melodramatic but dull.

At least he has a red background, instead of a blue one.

Forty minutes in.

Only another hour and a half to go.

I might skip the voting. I'm going to get my vote in early. That way I won't have to bother watching to see how everyone else has voted.

Estonia.

Blue lights.

Melodramatic Power ballad.

Insanely gigantic dress.

Coupled with terrifying high notes.

That is a very beautiful effect with the dress though.

They didn't really need her to turn up. They should just have had the dress show up.

She sounds like a kettle boiling.

Bulgaria.